Love Me Fridays

• Having my own washer/dryer (thanks Mom and Dad!).
• Blankies and pillows. Always.
• Japanese mint oil for aches.
• My new David's tea mug and tea that I got for Christmas from my sister!!
• Actually, any and all of my Christmas gifts!
• Having banana yellow nails.
• Bejeweled 3 and my attempt to get all the achievements (which I did!!).
• Everything is in marathon form on television. 
• Netflix and Twitter for providing me with constant friendship <3 haha
• Wrist braces for keeping those puppies in place!!
• Jonathan, cause he's the cat's meow.
• Not being alone on New Year's Eve :).

(Me sleeping on top of my tiny black dog Zoe at my parents' house)

(Images from WeHeartIt)

I love those two comics, especially remembering my experiences with legos!!  It's been a long, hard week, and I'm glad to see it finish.  By making this list of things I am grateful for, I feel like pushing onward...

What has made your week worth living?  What are the little joys you have noticed over the past seven days?  

xoxo,
Annie

Get Up Early Or Sleep In Late?

I never know which way is better: getting up early or sleeping in late.

When I get up early, I tend to be more productive.  I have a cup of coffee, take my pills on time, and manage to get some cleaning and writing done.  However, by 2 p.m. I'm exhausted and in lots of pain.  Jon comes home at 5 p.m.  It's so hard to function after that time.  Plus, I NEVER manage to fall asleep before the early morning hours.  Annie goes into total zombie mode haha.

When I get up late, I'm not productive at all.  I am sloth-like and stay in bed until at least 1 p.m.  I usually don't bother to eat until supper time.  This seems to put a delay on the feeling deathly, and it can be pushed back until about 8 p.m., so I can have a little bit of non-cranky time with Jon.  However, I'm always less likely to work at night.  It seems like the wrong time to be working and I just can't find inspiration.

I wish I could say that I could get up early and nap in the middle of the day, but for some reason, sleep is elusive at that time of day.

Do others with chronic illnesses face a similar problem?  Have you or your doctors come up with any good ideas?  Are you on a stable routine or do you just sleep when your body will allow it?

I'd love to have some weigh-in on this topic :).

xoxo,
Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

I've been doing more than just watching movies this week!  Which is surprising as I've spent most of the week in bed. I've got a great list of favorites here this week - I hope you think about adding them in to your collections!

Amores Perros:

This was probably THE most depressing film I've ever seen.  The film's title translates into "Love's A Bitch," and this movie goes out of its way to prove just that.  It's not for the squeamish or faint of heart, but for those that want a real, gritty view of some of the dramas of Mexico, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND.  It helps that I love Gael Garcia Bernal haha.

Bright Shiny Morning:

I know controversy will always surround James Frey, but I have to admit that I LOVE his writing.  I find his style absolutely compelling, and I learn to love and care about these realistic characters.  This book is broken into small sections of the lives of characters, who come from all walks of life in Los Angeles.  Frey also breaks the chapters up with fascinating tips about the history and sociology of the city.

Bejeweled 3:

I have been addicted to this game since I got it for the computer!  I can't WAIT for it to come out for the iPod Touch (where I can really make some seriously high scores).  I've beaten the game as it is, but I still have some gold badges to accomplish!

Intervention:

I have been watching a lot of Intervention lately, as it is an important reminder about self-love and self-care.  It has a special place in my heart, as I truly believe I have been crawling out of my own deep hole.

What have you been watching/reading/listening to this week??  Anything that you would recommend?  I'm feeling the particularly poignant works lately I think :).

xoxo,
Annie

Holiday Wrap-Up

As I knew it would, the holidays took each and every last little ounce of energy and health out of me.

Add in some unexpected exercise, and I'm sorer than all miserable hell.  It will probably be a few days before I can walk remotely normal again.

I think I ate enough for about 400 people (thankfully - my meds were working out so I managed to keep it all down!).

I think I will become a sedentary creature until the New Year.

Self-care ideas for myself:

• Peppermint oil on some of the pulled muscles.
• Hot bubble baths.
• Stopping the mass amounts of eating.
• Doing a facial mask.
• Drinking lots of water. 

(Images from google search and WeHeartIt)

Does everyone else have a holiday hangover?  My body does not like that much over-stimulation!  PJs and bed for a few days!

xoxo,

Annie

Things That Bug Me Mondays

• Playing the Kinect and now I can't walk. No joke. 
• That my sister hurt her back :(.
• Being too social and then absolutely crashing out sick (not that my holiday wasn't absolutely amazing times a million).
• I must have gotten into some unfriendly food to Celiacs because my belly sure isn't a happy camper.
• The fact that my computer has blue screened like 4 times, but keeps turning back on okay.  It's a brand new computer, but Jon did tests on it and it seems like the hard drive is fun. WTF?
• Nights of insomnia.
• TMJ

Now I'm curled up on the couch with blankies and just ate some Chinese food and beat Bejeweled 3!  If I could move a little more, it would be rather nice :).  I'll have to have a cup of tea later!

(Images from all over the Interwebs..)

Is everyone suffering a crash after the craziness of the holidays??  I do not plan on leaving the bed tomorrow.  

xoxo,

Annie

Quote of the Day - Marion Cotillard

As a teenager, I didn't want to be me; I wanted to be many different people. Maybe I realized that they all lived inside me and that if I managed to connect with them, they would become aspects of me.

~Marion Cotillard

(Images from WeHeartIt)

I LOVE this quote.  I felt alienated as a teenager (and longed to be someone else), and it is just over the last few years that I have learned to recognize all the different parts of life I can channel.

So wise.

What did anyone get for Christmas?

I got:

• A leaf ring
• An owl necklace
• A velvet blazer
• A Kinect
• and a variety of practical odds and ends!

I would love to know!!

xoxo,

Annie

Merry Christmas To Everyone!

Merry Christmas to all those that celebrate and happy holidays to all that have other traditions!!!

May everyone have a beautiful time with those they love (like me with you!).

(Images from WeHeartIt)

Much love to you all!

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• Seeing my sister and Andrew again!
• The new light pink nail polish that I bought.
• Spending more time reading :).
• The fact that I have no more doctor appointments for a week!
• The Internet. Always the Internet. Have to have the Internet.
• I made a collage this week AND left the house by myself for the first time in a LONG time to walk down to my post office.
• That brief day that happens once in a blue moon where you feel remotely like a human.
• Kim!!!!  I only got to talk to her once this week but it made my life a million times better. 
• Finding a new power song!
• Christmas!!!! (Obviously...).
• The practice of healing. 
• MarioKart and Jeopardy for the Wii.

The bestest get clean line!!

1 more day!!!!!!

Hahaha, I love this, especially for the chronically ill!!

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What is everyone else feeling grateful for at this holiday season??  Merry Christmas Eve everyone!  May you all have the most wonderful holidays!!

xoxo,

Annie

Family Dynamics for the Chronically Ill at the Holidays

It's that time of year again, and the world is a-buzz with holiday cheer (and fear).

This is a particularly hard time of year for the chronically ill, so I want to throw out some suggestions so that one can make it through in one piece!

1. Try not to feel guilty that other people are in charge of a big meal for the family.  Simple recipes can be prepared in advance and helped with, but don't hurt yourself trying to go out of your way to create everything the way you could before you became ill.  It will just build resentment between yourself and others.
2. If you don't have a job, try not to beat yourself up for the amount of money spent on presents.  Make things from the heart (food, cards, art...) and spend your time with them in the moment.  That is the spirit of Christmas.  Hopefully, everyone is understanding and encouraging towards the less expensive practice.
3. If you have too much family drama around the holidays, make sure you have boundaries in place.  Stress is not good for the chronically ill body.  The fights are just not worth your peace of mind.
4. Make sure that you have your medication well-stocked over the Christmas season.  Doctors will be tricky to contact and no one has a good relationship with a chronically ill patient withdrawing from medication.  It's just not a good scene.
5. Know when to duck into another room just to have a breather.  I know that if I don't take some time for me during pain moments, I'm definitely not going to be able to give my best to my family and friends.

(Image from WeHeartIt)

Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday!  If you have time, give me a picture of how you will spend Christmas (etc...)!

xoxo,

Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

I am just drowning myself in knowledge and entertainment this week!  It's been an overly social weekend as well, so lots was taken in!  I just want to curl up with books and movies and disappear into another world.

Alternative Treatments for Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: 

I was at the Pain Clinic waiting for acupuncture when I stumbled upon this little gem of a book!  As a well-seasoned Fibro patient, I have tried many of these options; it was nice to have them all in a singular collection.  Plus, it had a ton of testimonials which made me feel much less alone in the world.  I highly recommend that those who are afflicted check it out :).














Pineapple Express:

My absolute favorite stoner-buddy themed movie of ALL time.  So crazy and so much fun!!  James Frenco is one of my imaginary husbands for sure :).  I never fail to have a laugh when it comes on television.  This becomes a non-stop thrill ride once this lovely buyer/dealer combo witnesses a murder caused by a cop.  FANTASTIC.

The Air I Breathe:

I really enjoyed this movie.  It's based on a Chinese Proverb connecting happiness, pleasure, sorrow, and love; where every life gets woven into a tapestry with every other.  It features some of the best actors and actresses in Hollywood today, and I cannot believe that I had never heard of it.  Not something you would put on to cheer up, but groundbreaking all the same.

Play It Again, Sam:

We all know I'm a big Woody Allen fan, and this film is HILARIOUS.  Woody Allen's character tries to channel his film icon, Humphrey Bogart more heavily into his real life.  The plot is entirely an homage to Casablanca, and it works beautifully.

What do you think of these films/books?  What have you delved into that's fascinating this week?  Come on bookworms - join in!

xoxo,
Annie

The Times They Are A-Changin'

So I saw my psychiatrist on Saturday.

My psychiatrist(s) and pain doctor have made recommendations, and now a referral has been put through for the government to decide whether or not to fund me to go to Homewood (a rehab type facility in Ontario, Canada).

It is primarily a mental health clinic - but my psychiatrist believes it is my best chance to potentially see other doctors who would be more willing to delve into the medical issues and tests that can not be done in this region of the world.

If the government doesn't approve it, obviously, I'm not going.  If the government does approve it, I'll probably be going whether I want to or not.  I don't know how I feel about being treated in a detoxing facility, especially when I only take about 1/2 of the pills I am prescribed.  I have never shown drug addict behavior in my entire life...but I have never been able to detox without having TERRIBLE side effects (primarily from SSRI's and Benzos).

I'm tired of this complicated situation, but alas...I keep going.

I see an endocrinologist early in the year, as I've had a few tests with low parathyroid, so we'll see how it all works out.

What does everyone think?  Do you believe in the use of medication for illnesses such as Fibromyalgia, MECFS, and an unknown autoimmune problem?  Or do you support the natural supplement route?  What is working for you?  Have any of you been treated in major facilities?

xoxo,
Annie

Things That Bug Me Mondays

• Waiting to see if the government wants to send me away and waiting to see if my family wants me to do it :/
• I've been too social this weekend and it's TOTALLY wiped me out.
• Being scared about getting a part-time job due to pain and lack of a memory (especially when it is in retail and involves standing...)
• Being treated like I don't matter by some of my doctors.
• Forgetting my Clonazepam in my drug cases last week, because it spun me into a wicked benzo withdrawal.  Tremors, sweating, and terrible anxiety until I figured out what it was.
• Swollen lymph nodes.
• I want a pet. This duplex doesn't allow them. Booooo.

And now for some amusing cats, as they seem to meet my needs right now!

What is bothering you this week?  Time for a little therapy session?  Same time, same place every Monday!  My shoulders feel lighter already :).

xoxo,

Annie  

Links, Links, Links!

These are some of the amusements and brilliant pieces that I have found on the Internet over the past week!  If you have any boredom, be sure to check them out!

My friend (and author) Maija is having a contest for free ME/CFS treatment books!  Be sure to enter, as it is a fantastic book!
http://www.brokenmarionettebook.com/?contest

60 suggestions to make life more simple - I don't agree with them all, but it's a solid jump off block!
http://www.marcandangel.com/2010/11/01/60-ways-to-make-life-simple-again/

Important things to always keep in the front of your mind!
http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/always-be-thinking-about-these-things/

Such a cute and classy website.
http://www.pinkofperfection.com/

Funny Christmas card :).
http://thedailywh.at/post/2314114676/christmas-card-of-the-day-the-2010-lucasfilm

Crazy looks from the craziest dressers of the year!
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-the-craziest-looks-from-the-craziest-dressers-of-2010/

Are you in a winter style rut? Sarah Von teaches you how to get out of it!
http://www.yesandyes.org/2010/12/breaking-out-of-winter-style-rut.html

This little kid is sooooo cute :).
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/tunnelofhorror.gif

One of the funniest car chases I have EVER seen.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=5ad_1292415708

Haha, I love this sign!
http://i.imgur.com/SJ6mp.jpg

An interesting perspective on how to be better at life...
http://www.merlinmann.com/better

Totally me and my man!
http://exocomics.com/147

Tell me which ones you like or what you would like to see more of!  I had a lot of fun finding them so I hope you have a good time viewing them.

xoxo,
Annie

Quote of the Day - Billy Bob Thornton

Marijuana used medically is one of my primary sources of pain relief and general treatment for my Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS.  I agree with Billy Bob on this one...what's so wrong with that?

I'm a firm believer that this drug needs to be legalized and brought in as a painkiller for more serious pain conditions. 

Hopefully you'll all respond and get some conversation going, to distract me from the scary possibilities currently running around in my mind regarding my health.

xoxo,

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• My wonderful doctor and nurse at the Pain Clinic!
• That it's my bestie's birthday!  Enjoy your day Sarah!
• Being finished with Christmas shopping.
• Japanese Mint Oil for my knee pain.
• Coming up with new blog ideas!
• That my other best friend Kim has had so much luck this week! She deserves every little bit of it!
• Daydreams of running away to visit Kim.
• Board games. I want a ton of them, but have no one to play them with me.
• Chocolate covered potato chips.
• Goat cheese.
• Re-watching Fight Club.

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What are the little things you are grateful for this week?  What has helped you get through adversity?!  I managed to accidentally cold turkey off of my Clonazepam, which didn't work out very well (or well at all!), but these little things helped me through the process!

xoxo,

Annie

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things! (Currently...)

What I'm really into right now:

I totally want a special stones collection!

I want to be able to have lips colored like this for a day!

This cup encouraging ways to better help!

I can't wait until I have a big blingin' cocktail ring!

This necklace is oh so cute!

Can I have a room like this in my backyard please?

Coffee table books about space!

Favorite magazines! (Mine are LouLou and Cosmo U.K.)

What are you fascinated by right now?  What hobbies do you use to distract yourself from illness?  Or to simply to relax your mind?

xoxo,

Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

Here are some recommendations from a girl who spends a lot of time on the couch taking in the latest entertainment!

2 Days In Paris:

I love this cute little film.  I could watch it all of the time :).  I love the neurotics!  This couple falls into numerous mishaps over their brief trip to Paris, making for both poignant and amusing scenes.  It's a beautiful character study...something that Julie Delpy does so well.

Knocked Up:

This movie is funny.  Very funny.  Add in a happy ending and it's near perfect.  It's slightly crude (as all movies appear to be these days - not something I have a problem with!), but Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl make an unexpected pregnancy into a really beautiful thing.  Always a great show to throw on when you are feeling under the weather :).

What's Up Tiger Lily?:

I LOVE Woody Allen movies.  I mean LOVE.  Alas, this one just didn't do it for me.  It's an Asian film that was bought by Woody Allen, in order for him to do comical voice-over.  It had it's moments, but it definitely doesn't fall into the category of Annie Hall or Whatever Works.  It's one of his earlier films, so obviously it has been an uphill creative climb for him!

Mallrats:

I can't believe it has taken me SO LONG to see this movie!  This film was so much fun!  Easily one of Kevin Smith's best, and he's made quite a few great movies (Can anyone say Dogma and Chasing Amy??!!).  Anytime you are feeling down in the dumps - I HIGHLY recommend.  I love these crazy kids :).

What have you watched/listened to/read and loved this week??  I'd love recommendations!

xoxo,

Annie

11 Things My Life Does Not Need in 2011

1. Putting up walls around myself.  I've done it for years, and I do not need to anymore.  I'm confident enough in my own (slightly evil) body, and I want to get closer to those who are important to me.  Especially my family.  I feel less ashamed of my illnesses every day, and I hope I will be able to continue this journey.  Now I want to know about everyone else :).
2. Spending too much time laying still.  I actually feel better when I take a meditation position, or do some stretching.  Now that I have a great mat and space for it, I have no excuse.  Who knows, maybe it will magically bring me to the point that I could have a part-time job (dream!).
3. Not making meals.  Jon has even offered to play one night on, one night off in terms of household cooking.  It's not that hard.  Just because I don't have an appetite doesn't mean I shouldn't try to put the best nutrition into my body (and my boyfriend's).
4. Too much of the news.  It's depressing.  It's unnecessary unless at a dinner party.  I have better uses of my emotional energy.
5. Feeling guilty about my emotions.  My emotions are as real and as fair as any other person's.  I have to stop dismissing them as crazy or over-reactive.  Everyone has a different perception of the world, and mine is not wrong in any way.
6. Hunched shoulders and clenched hands - this is my natural state of being and it is extremely unhealthy.  I don't know how to relax.  It is my goal of 2011 to be mindful, and to notice when this is happening so I can put my shoulders down and open up my hands.
7. Cleaning my side room which is all full of storage after getting our washer and dryer.  That space is important for crafting, and I need to clear it out.  The year 2011 does not want a room too messy to even use.
8. I don't need to pretend that my doctors know more about my condition than I know.  I'm hugely well-educated in my issues, and I don't need doctors who don't believe in Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS shaking my confidence.  I will be polite obviously, but I don't need to internalize the pain.
9. Drama. I'm SO OVER drama.
10. Letting the moods of other people affect mine.  This is a natural process, but I need to learn to the fact that people can be upset without it having anything to do with me.
11. Lessen some of my medication.  I don't know if this will happen, but I sure want to try.

What do you want to drop for the New Year?  What are your bad habits?  Do any of these ring a bell?

xoxo,
Annie

Things That Bug Me Mondays

• Not getting enough of my to-do list done.
• Money, money, money! Drowning in bills :/.
• The chest pains I've had all week.
• Running out of dark chocolate!
• Dry mouth.
• Needing to work more on my cross-stitch...I'm almost procrastinating...
• Running out of Louis C.K. comedy specials haha
• The fact that I missed Susan when she was dropping off fudge on Sunday!
• I wish I could make everyone (including myself) feel better. Grandiose, I know.
• That I have to re-register with my bank in order to see what the statement is on my MasterCard. Grr.

Otherwise, just can't wait to land in bed!  

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What is making you angry/sad/jealous/etc... of this week? Sharing these feelings is the best way to dust them off and start moving forward!

xoxo,

Annie

Links, Links, Links!

My scattering of Internet distraction and fascinating articles of the week!

All of my twitter friends will understand this feeling (and likely be guilty of it!).
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/follow_friday

A manatee running into glass - which I shouldn't find as funny as I do :P
http://i.imgur.com/YHUxY.gif

Cat Vs. Internet by the Oatmeal. Hilarious.
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/cat_vs_internet

A little Christmas cheer!
http://thedailywh.at/post/2171969587/after-hours-meanwhile-in-stumptown-reddit

Lifehacker's top 10's of 2010!
http://lifehacker.com/5709479/most-popular-top-10s-of-2010

Time's view on Wikileaks main man...
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2028734_2028733_2028727,00.html?xid=poyw-twit

Procrastination, as hilariously showed by Hyperbole and a Half :)
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/03/procrastinator.html

A really poignant article about how we should value ourselves, even if we may feel like broken dolls.
http://midatlanticarthritis.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/broken-dolls-the-things-and-people-we-keep-flaws-and-all-by-ashley-boynes/

What have you found this week and loved??

xoxo,
Annie

Quote of the Day - Marilyn Monroe

"Dogs never bite me. Just humans." 
~ Marilyn Monroe

(Image from WeHeartIt)

Thoughts?

xoxo,

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• My supportive family who will sit with me in the ER
• Writing by candlelight
• Aleve
• Sleep (which I'm not getting enough of!)
• Bejeweled 3!!! It's soooo cool!
• SpongeBob SquarePants Christmas wrapping paper!
• Christmas cards from online friends! (Here's looking at you Sonja!)
• That I actually got a donation for the opportunity to see Kim! 
• Learning more about alternative therapies for my illnesses
• That my boyfriend is turning into a damn good cook!
• Looking at pretty things online

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What is making you feel all warm and happy this week?!?!  There is no greater feeling than that of gratitude for what you still have.  

xoxo,

Annie

A Little About Me, Maybe Even More About You??

To my beloved blog readers...here is a bit more info about me. Honestly, I just want to learn more about you all!  If anyone wants to fill out a similar survey in the comments please do!  I want to know my "spoonie" sisters and brothers!

Tell me what you love and hate about your illnesses, and what drives you to rise above them!  If I get enough responses, I'll compile them into another post!!

Three names I go by (besides given name)

1. Annie
2. A
3. A lot of random pet names!

Three jobs I have had in my life

1. Cashier
2. Office Administration
3. Writer

Three places I have lived

1. Charlottetown, PEI, Canada
2. Montreal PQ, Canada
3. Seattle, WA, United States

Three of my favorite drinks

1. Water
2. Smoothies
3. Diet Coke

Three of my favorite movies

1. Annie Hall
2. Love Actually
3. Rear Window

Three places I have been

1. Florida
2. Ontario
3. West Virginia 

Three of my favorite foods

1. Chocolate
2. Gluten-free Christmas Dinner
3. Raspberries

Three things I am looking forward to

1. Cure for ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia
2. Being recognized for contributing something to the subjects above
3. Enjoying time with my family and friends

Three things that are always by my side

1. My laptop
2. A blanket
3. A drink

xoxo,
Annie