- The ability of my brain, when in distress, to counteract every sleeping medicine I possibly have. I have been running on no sleep for days. It doesn't help that I'm in a different location and that my boyfriend has gone to Quebec City (so jealous!).
- My arms and legs are too weak to use!! It has to be a lack of sleep problem, but it is painful to type and I've fallen with my crummy legs about 8 times in the last 2 days.
- The fact that I feel like I'm a constant burden, especially when my mother has to carry the heavy things because I can't. We went to the beach and I swear I got glares that I was a spoiled and selfish person.
- I am discouraged to drive by both family and friends - which is a killer hit to the independence factor.
- How hard it has been to write blogs lately. My brain will come back. I swear. Okay, I more hope.
- Wondering whether or not my doctor will give me a hard time to write an opiate prescription in small quantities. Sometimes I just cannot take the pain.
- Certain people. Bad people. People I want everyone I know to avoid.
- Missing some of my Internet beloveds who are feeling pretty under the weather too!
- Missing my boyfriend.
- Ninety dollar powder vitamins that are grittier than gritty.
(PostSecret images from WeHeartIt)
xoxo,
Annie
8 comments:
Things that bug me:
- People not paying me promptly on eBay. It's been, like, 3 days. I took a load of stuff to the Post Office today but I'm going to have to go again (possibly more than once) because I still have stuff to send thanks to stragglers who haven't paid me yet.
- The fact that getting to the Post Office is such an epic feat of strength even though it's less than a five minute walk.
- Being so tired that I can't really do anything other than watch tv and sleep, but I can't sleep because I'm restless and I *hate* watching TV all day, I'm just not built for it.
I could go on, but I really shouldn't ;D
Mazzle x
umm i so hear you on the feeling like a total jerk. i hate when ppl have to carry stuff around for me and everyone stares at me like "what kind of spoiled brat ARE you?!" bc they cant tell im ill.
my list this wk:
moving from one side of the world to the other is a royal pain in the keester. have i mentioned that yet? heh.
finals. - and on a related note: brain fog.
nosy, gossipmongering sorts. i have ZERO tolerance for them digging into my life, yelling at me when i dont tell them all about my life (even though they havent spoken to me in months so idk why on earth i would) ...but that last one tends to lead to me in tears more than showcasing my lack of tolerance for their crap..
feeling like im abandoning my sister who moved here partly bc im here and will now be stuck here while i leave
SR (@gradstdntwlupus)
http://gradstudentwithlupus.wordpress.com
It's exhausting enough to deal with a chronic illness that insomnia just seems blatantly unfair. I hope you get some sleep soon.
My list for this week:
-Family telling me I don't know what it's REALLY like to have a job because I only work 30 hrs a week at Barnes & Noble
-Family telling me getting my PhD in medieval literature is a bad move, and not understanding that my health and inability to be functioning at a certain time and place will forever limit my job opportunities. Plus what family doesn't see earning a PhD as an
-The balancing act of family vacation of relaxing enough to rejuvenate, spending enough time with my family so they don't get on my case about being a recluse, and getting writing work done while I have energy.
-Worrying about the possibility of needing to quit my job because I can't take it anymore. And how I'll move out of my parents house which is making me sicker. And how I'll find the money to apply to grad school.
Thanks for posting this. It feels good to say it.
Thinking of you! Hope your day gets much better. Wishing you some blissful slumber as well.
You know who you are. Be proud of what you are able to do!
Blessings,
Tonja
Annie, I thought you said you had "glittery" vitamins....I had to re-read it because I was jealous for a second!
Today was the first time I got one of those "looks" from someone because I parked in a handicapped spot at Dunkin Donuts.
But...I found a little pond at the senior housing my Mom is at, with a mama duck and 7 little duckies. They are so little they look like easter Peeps. Mama duck didn't like me looking and she told me quite loudly! Cute cute cute!
Annie. It always amazes me that no matter how much trouble you're having you always manage to write so articulately and find interesting pictures and words for us to look at.
I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time and I hope things include soon. I hope your boyfriend isn't gone for too long.
It seems we all have to ignore the looks of others -- you with your mom carrying things and Mo with people looking at her in the disabled space. THAT BUGS ME -- people looking at us like they know what our lives are really like!
Annie - I totally relate to this post! Phew! I get the driving thing. I have been driving less and less.
As for others carrying your stuff, I get that too. That is really hard for me as well. I think it is because it takes another part of me away -it's another loss if you will.
I love you girl! Hang in there!
P. S. I've missed you and your blog! :-)
Oh, Annie, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough week. I wish I could pop over to help you out!
Hang in there and rest as much as you can - this bad period will pass.
Sue
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