Quote of the Day - Mila Kunis

Always have a backup plan!
~Mila Kunis 

(Image from WeHeartIt)

This is especially true if you end up falling ill!

xoxo,

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• My new doctor is a sweetheart and wants to work with me and make me comfortable!
• Elisabeth sent me the most amazing necklace in the mail!  I love my twitter friends!
• Sleep! Any time I'm lucky enough to get it I take advantage!
• Checking out everyone's Goodreads lists :)
• Chai Tea
• Reading outside now that it's Spring!
• Mom's yummy tomato beef stew
• Dark chocolate with ginger
• The fact that I'm feeling a little better!!!!!
• Amazing books - Water for Elephants and The Book Thief

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What are the little things that have made your life more lovely this week?  Be grateful for the little things here and you will feel better about all that you have!

xoxo,

Annie

My Review of The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability

I purchased this book a few weeks ago, as I have been having some serious problems with intimacy due to my pain-riddled body.  As it is such a taboo topic, I thought maybe a book would explain the situation more clearly, and perhaps give me some suggestions on how to feel remotely attractive (as chronic illness does not equal sexy feelings!).

The book is excellent for breaking down myths about sexuality and those who have disabilities and chronic illness.  It teaches you that just because you don't have the same interpretations and sensations as before, doesn't mean that there aren't still places on your body that will respond favorably to touch.  

As someone who used to work at an "adult" store, I didn't need much help in learning about the wide variety of toys that can be used.  However, for those without that background knowledge, I think it could be a very helpful set of suggestions!

My favorite part of the book were the exercises at the end of each chapter.  They really provoke you to dig deep into your mind in order to determine what you like, what you are willing to try, and how you truly feel about yourself.  

I haven't finished all of the exercises yet, but I can't wait as I'm learning so much about myself!

If you have a chronic illness or disability, and have difficulties making intimacy enjoyable - I highly recommend the purchase of this book.

xoxo,

Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

These are a few of the stories that I have experienced lately!

Broken English:

A neat little film about an uptight woman (Parker Posey), who drowns her sorrows in drugs and alcohol while dating people who are terrible for her.  An encounter with a French visitor challenges her every belief, as his way of living is vastly more relaxed.  Romance ensues :).

Water For Elephants:

I could just picture Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson in these roles - can't wait for the movie!  The book reads like a film, and is such a page-turner that one can't let go.  Gruen manages to bring the circus to life in a way I have never before seen!

Ellie Parker:

A series of Hollywood moments and disappointments.  I only watched it for Naomi Watts.  Decent, but wouldn't fall into my watch again category of films.

The Full Monty:

I LOVED this movie! I had a grin on my face the whole time it played.  This movie brought British working class culture to light, making you care about these men and their ambition to make money from stripping bare naked.  I highly recommend.

What have you seen/read/heard lately that you have liked?  Share, share!

xoxo,

Annie

A Video Into My History!!

My life in pictures :).  I hope you enjoy my silly little videos!

xoxo,

Annie

Things That Bug Me Mondays

• EXTREME bed ridden levels of pain
• Insomnia
• Jaw clenching
• Becoming too invested in the relationships of fictional characters haha
• Procrastination
• Fainting
• Migraines!!

(Images from WeHeartIt)

Hopefully you have all had much better weeks, but if not - let it out here!  Get those bad feelings out so that they can be replaced with good feelings :).

xoxo,

Annie

Links, Links, Links!

Here are some links that I've rounded up over the last few days on the Internet!

Decide what you want and go for it.
http://www.yesandyes.org/2011/03/dont-be-jealous-no-really-dont.html

Ten household tools for people in pain!
http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20477558,00.html

Full of amazing blog articles on asking for help when chronically ill at the PFAM blog carnival!
http://www.possibilism.org/pfam-help/

fragileannie.tumblr.com--> because I love it so much I will try to send you there all of the time!

And Dinosaur Comics for a good laugh :).
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php

I'm not in very good shape this weekend, so this is the best I have!  Pretty please send some positive and healing vibes my way!

xoxo,
Annie

Quotes of the Day - Kate Moss

It is quite amazing what I didn't feel after a while. I didn't really want to feel things.
Kate Moss

People don't hear me talk. They don't expect me to. Kate Moss

(Image from WeHeartIt)

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

xoxo,

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• Using insomnia productively
• Any moment of comfort
• My mom's endless support and help at appointments
• My new body pillow
• Starting Water for Elephants!
• Pictures of those I love from the past
• Getting my ring fixed :)
• Those occasional moments of appetite

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What are the little things that have improved your week?

xoxo,

Annie

Facial Swelling...Why?

So numerous times over the last year, I have found myself to have a swollen face.

Now, I had chronic urticaria and angiodema for a long time, and it affected the entirety of my body.  Within the last few years though, the only time any swelling shows is on my face, and it isn't raised and bumped like swelling of the past.  The cheeks are the most swollen areas and feel like a bad sunburn.  It doesn't react to Benadryl, that's for sure!  It lasted about 18 hours.

A few days later, I brought my doctor a picture of my rash taken later in the day when it had gotten more pronounced.

He said it looked like the malar rash, and to try to get in to his hospital on a day it is there so he can arrange a skin biopsy.  He also was going to run another ANA, but I'm sure he won't find anything.  It will be some random thing my body concocts for fun.

The endocrinologist also posed the idea of shutting off my ovaries entirely in favor of hormone replacements for the next forever...

Taking my time to think that one over.  These are the joys of spending more time with the healthcare system than with friends and family.

xoxo,

Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

This show has been absorbing my entire life lately as it makes me laugh!  BEST THING EVER.

Watch it!

xoxo,

Annie

I Miss Smelling

When I could smell...these were my favorites:

• Fresh cut grass!
• COFFEE
• Tea
• Bacon
• Perfumes
• Permanent markers
• Bleach
• Flowers
• Thunderstorms (fresh rain!)
• Citrus
• Freshly cut wood
• Vanilla

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What are some of your favorite smells as delicious Spring starts to arrive?

xoxo,

Annie

Things That Bug Me Mondays

• Finances!!!! Grrr
• Getting the date wrong for my endocrinologist appointment...
• NAUSEA
• The preparation of food
• When my face is swollen
• That my life isn't a musical
• Hiccups
• Straining muscles simply by moving
• Beds that are not my usual

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What is getting under your skin this week?  One moment of good solid complaining usually helps get it out of the system!

xoxo,

Annie

Links, Links, Links!

A few things I have found on the Internet over the past week!

I'm an agnostic, but this song for atheists by Steve Martin is HILARIOUS.
http://www.openculture.com/2011/03/steve_martin_writes_first_song_for_atheists.html

Fibromyalgia questions answered:

http://www.lifescript.com/Health/Everyday-Care/Health_Basics/10_Questions_About_Fibromyalgia_Answered.aspx

Me, when it is time for bed...
http://i.imgur.com/tKEPr.gif

Ways to make personal growth happen!
http://theorganicsister.com/8-ways-to-make-personal-growth-happen/

A fiction book involving a person with ME/CFS written by Maija Haavisto - currently only in Finnish but we need to get it published in ENGLISH!!!  I can't wait to have the opportunity to read it!
http://www.ilmestykset.net/in-english/

An article on what to do while you are looking for a good pain doctor!
http://www.thepainstore.com/LookingForGoodDoc.pdf

Spider webs wrapped around trees after flooding - AMAZING picture.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dfid/5571181942/

And of course, my own Tumblr for my personal entertainment!
fragileannie.tumblr.com

xoxo,
Annie

Quote of the Day - Kristen Stewart

"A lot of actors think that what we do is so important, like we're saving people's lives or something."
~ Kristen Stewart

(Image from WeHeartIt)

Stories change my life all the time...doesn't seem that exaggerated to me :).

xoxo,

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• My mother coming to visit and helping me clean.
• Getting into television shows to help pass the time.
• Trying to reinvent my spirit for writing!
• Making chicken korma for supper.
• Self-help books for those with chronic pain = good.
• Kim's care package!
• Managing to get ALL of the laundry done!
• Those brief moments of happiness :).
• BBQ with Jon and Ashley!!!!!

(Images from WeHeartIt and one of me!)

What have been those little moments that brought joy to your life this week?  

xoxo,

Annie

Care Package Love

Is there any feeling in the world better than that of having someone love a gift you created solely for them?

Kim got my package in England and was ecstatic, thereby making me grin like a lunatic for hours.  I looked at all of the things that I had collected piled on her couch, and remembered that just a couple of weeks ago, they were at home in my craft room.  Now I feel as though there is a tiny part of me by her side.

(All spread out over her couch!)

Awesome.

Who else is a big fan of sending/receiving care packages?

xoxo,

Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

Mildred Pierce:

I flipped to TCM the other night and this movie just popped on.  I had actually NEVER heard of it, which seems a shame.  I did a little research and found out that Kate Winslet and Evan Rachel Wood were doing an HBO version, so I had to stay on the channel.  This film enticed me, purely from the amazing acting of Joan Crawford.  The story is so deliciously twisted!

The In-Betweeners:

This was recommended to me by my sister and my British sister...and it's adorable.  It's so crude, and shows exactly the way teenage boys experience high school!  Too funny.

Rabbit Hole:

This is one depressing movie, but it is one of Nicole Kidman's most AMAZING performances.  I can't even imagine the hurt of losing a child, but this film captures all the feelings.  Entrancing is the only word for this film.

Wristcutters: A Love Story:

This is an adorable movie in the darkest way possible.  In this movie, the protagonists commit suicide, only to find themselves in a world just slightly worse than this one.  Throughout the movie, they realize the parts of life they were missing, teaching the audience alongside.  Really enjoyable :).

What have you liked recently?  I love to keep movies and TV around me so that I feel as though I'm not alone during the day!

xoxo,
Annie

The Best Weapons In The World

My biggest fear about this combination of illnesses?  The fact that the brain fog limits my reading/comprehension abilities.  Books on tape are excellent, but if you can't remember anything you've taken in...there is a problem.

Books have changed my life in a monumental way.  They open you up to new ideas, worlds, challenges, and possibilities.  They are a way to escape when your damaged body will take no more.  Books will inform you about your illness and ways of coping with it.  Actually, they will teach you about damn near everything.  They can be your friend when no one else is around.

I can still manage to read and write short portions, but in terms of longer accessibility...my mind just isn't there.  Currently, I'm slowly working my way through The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Rowblewski.

With all the craziness going on in the world right now...don't forget about the books :).

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What books are you lovely people enjoying these days?

xoxo,

Annie

Things That Bug Me Mondays

• That time of the month and how it amplifies pain
• Aching hands
• Bills
• The fact that the fridge does not stock itself haha
• My inability to keep my chocolate eating to a minimum!
• How simple it is to overdo it with this illness...
• That I can't magically make other people stop hurting
• Not having the drive to write much lately

(I'm trying to not do this so much anymore...)

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What are the little things picking away at you this week?  Share them here and we can all cleanse and let them go together :) *hugs*.

xoxo,

Annie

Links, Links, Links!

Some links that I've found on the Internet over the last week!

A story on living with Fibromyalgia.
http://www.nbc-2.com/Global/story.asp?S=14298169

If you are not visiting an online support group - you really should be!
http://www.bclocalnews.com/community/118535804.html

An odd little mash-up of music for you!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/5-seconds-of-every-1-song-from-1993-2011

Things that people at this website think you should know how to do:
http://www.amazingposts.com/2011/03/50-things-everyone-should-know.html?m=1

Ways to live below your full potential...A.K.A. don't!
http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/01/24/10-surefire-ways-to-live-below-your-full-potential/

The fur..not fur coat.  So strange, but amazing!
http://i.imgur.com/5dk61.gif

Find your voice :).
http://www.positivelypresent.com/2011/01/the-find-your-voice-process.html

Ways to cope when everything just sucks.
http://unicornsforsocialism.com/2011/03/19/how-to-survive-when-everything-sucks/

Hopefully some of these were helpful or entertaining!

xoxo,
Annie

Quote of the Day - Zooey Deschanel

My goal as an actor is always to be as truthful as possible, and to find the truth in the material I am representing. So I think that it’s the same with performing music. But in a way, performing your own music, it’s easier to find the truth in it, because it’s coming from yourself. There’s no translation needed.


~ Zooey Deschanel

(Image from WeHeartIt)

xoxo,

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog
• Dark chocolate truffles
• Romance films
• Spring (and sunshine!)
• Dame Elizabeth Taylor, R.I.P.
• Toni Bernhard's reassuring words
• Heating pads
• Anytime Jonathan is home!
• My new body pillow
• Poetry

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What are the little things that are bringing you some happiness this week?  Even if it was a tough week, I'm sure you can dig hard enough to find a few :).

xoxo,

Annie

Dependent on Chemicals...

I missed my morning pills on Monday, as I had thought that I had already taken them.
I didn't end up taking them until the afternoon ones came around.
It was an absolute mess.

I felt completely bleak and abysmal.  I felt like everyone would be better off if I didn't exist anymore.  Insta-depression, and in that state of depression, I can't even begin to figure out that it could be chemical.  Instead, I just see black and white.

My brain makes ZERO serotonin and I metabolize the drug incredibly fast.

It's terrifying that so much of my life equals reliance on medication.

xoxo,

Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

It's a good thing that I manage to be extra productive some weeks, because this week I haven't managed to get through much in terms of pop culture.  It's been hard to even find time to drag myself to the computer.  Silly illness flares.  Anyway, here are my reviews of a few things on my list :).

A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah:

An amazing book.  It shows how you can survive through the most brutal of circumstances and yet still have light in your heart.  I think this should be mandatory reading material.


Outsourced:

This movie touched my heart in so many ways...and made me want to learn more about Indian culture :).  This isn't very well known, but it is on Netflix --> if you have it, watch it!

Repo! The Genetic Opera:

I had no idea what to expect going into this!  So much macabre fun to be had here.  I love Anthony Stewart Head (Giles from Buffy!) and Sarah Brightman!  It ended up being both epic, fun, and sad.  I would definitely watch this again, as some of its songs were stuck in my head for awhile after watching!

Layer Cake:

Either I felt really bad when I watched this movie, or there wasn't a whole lot to it.  Daniel Craig's attractiveness was my main reason for putting it on, but I can't say I really cared for any of the characters.  It was a gritty cocaine tale that left me wanting more.

What have you seen and liked this week??

xoxo,

Annie

Favorite Albums To Listen To While Sick - Round 1

Music is such a calming aspect when you are sick.  You can put on quite instrumental, or blast a power anthem.  Either way, music allows you a chance to escape from some of the pain in your body, by channeling it into something bigger than you.  I thought I would start giving some recommendations of my favorites that get a lot of play when I'm sick at home or in the hospital.

Bachelor No. 2:

My favorite CD of ALL TIME.  I know all the words, it hits every part of my soul, and Aimee Mann is just a goddess.  Many of the songs on this album are also found on the soundtrack to the movie Magnolia (in case any of you are fans of the movie!).  I could literally listen to only this CD for the rest of my life.  The biggest praise I can give!

Back to Black:

I *SO* wish Amy Winehouse wasn't a train wreck.  This CD is full of the most beautiful melancholia that one could ever find.  Every track is golden.  Anyone with hurt in their heart will be able to relate to this music...

Abbey Road:

Who doesn't love The Beatles??  This CD slips past the rest due to the appearance of the song "Here Comes The Sun".  This is a much cheerier album than the others (although it marks the fallout of the band!).  There is nothing to not love here.

Sea Change:

Beck just being simple and emotional.  This is my most listened to album in a hospital setting.  Songs like "Guess I'm Doing Fine" and "Lost Cause" explain the common moods I fall into while I'm there.  Truly beautiful.

Cassadaga:

I love Bright Eyes.  I mean, I even have a tattoo of his lyrics on my neck.  This album tends to get mixed reviews, but it is the one that holds my heart.  The lyrics are pure brilliance, especially for those who have known depression - "all your friends and sedatives mean well, but make it worse... every reassurance just magnifies the doubt, better find yourself a place to level out".

What are your favorite CDs to listen to when you are sick?

xoxo,
Annie