Diffusing the Toxins

An oil painting photo of me on a water bank in Seattle. Photoshop is a nifty program, I must say.

I'm dreaming of a getaway. Everything around here is so overwhelming these days. I manage to only surround myself in people that spew negativity left and right. Don't get me wrong, I've been known to have moments of it myself but they always pass rather quickly. I do everything I can to stay positive and work towards helping myself get better and sometimes I feel as though the people around me are just trying to drag me back down. I can't move now that my boyfriend has a wonderful job that he loves, so daydreams are the current escape.

I'm not making enough money, not having enough time to be creative, and not having a social life that gets any stress out. Most certainly time for a life remodel I would say. I feel bad that my tolerance can be so low, but it's difficult to change who I am.

Anyways, off to work I run. I'm making an appearance at a bar later for a heavy metal show [very unlike me, but I keep my promises :)]. You never know, it could be fun!

xoxo,

Annie

When You Gonna Flower?

I'm having a bit of concert regret. All my friends went to see Marilyn Manson last night and Hawksley Workman tonight and I've been a money stickler and held out on both. The rave reviews that are coming my way are certainly making me wish I had changed my mind though. There is something to be said about the magic of live music, although it also can have the polarizing effect of being horribly disappointing.

Instead, I'm sitting at home debating watching a movie. Waiting eagerly for my first paycheck to arrive, as it has been a LONG LONG time since I've had one in my hands, even if it is underwhelming at best. The joys of making minimum wage when paying off years worth of student debt.

Jon is sassing me with his psuedo-intelligent comments and I'm mocking him. I love our relationship. It's peachy. Someday we'll be able to afford a house (if I ever start to make actual money-money). Then I'm going to get a Boxer and have a vegetable garden. Yes. Plans being made.

I see Fallout 3 so much on our TV that I'm starting to feel as though I live in the Capital Wastelands. It almost makes me want to go blow up super mutants and pick through their corpses for valuables.

One of these days I'll get my head on straight and start spending less of my time on the Internet. At least I don't have cable or I'd never get anything done. I'm going to start creating binders of inspiration for various topics: recipes, interior decorating, clothing styles, and crafts. I'm looking forward to it. As for now, I think I'll go have a cup of tea and try to be thankful for all the things I do have instead of all the things I don't like --> an awesome boyfriend, an apartment (even if it has orange carpets), and 'a hot body' according to the man on the couch haha.

E Ritorno Da Te

A) I suck at this whole daily updating business...

B) I've spent the last hour and a half wasting my life on youtube listening to everything from rap to italian pop.

C) I have a lot of ideas and no idea how to get them in gear.

Life has been fairly standard...the illness flare has calmed down slightly so as long as I take my meds everyday nothing too catastrophic takes place. I've learned as a result of my current profession that the population of the world is HUGELY judgmental and repressed regarding sex...much to my detriment.

Everything is in moderate chaos in my head so I'm crossing my fingers that I straighten it all out.

xoxo,

Annie

Changing Before My Eyes...

Tis a beautiful September day here in Prince Edward Island. :)

I got to sleep in...I have a large double-double Tim's coffee in my hands...and I'm blogging. Is there much better in life? I highly doubt it.

Anyways, I interviewed for a rather serious job position yesterday as an administration and research support worker. I now await a phone call. Sadly, I often worry about whether or not I want to get back into research-like positions. They demand such a level of professionalism - rather draining for someone who works so hard at being light in spirit. However, working with a computer all day would be rather wonderful.

I start a new job today! It's retail...and for, as my dad calls it, a 'pornographic shop'. Yes, I will be selling sex toys. Not a career path I plan on staying in forever, but it is hard to turn down a job when I have become as poor as I am.

I wandered around Charlottetown yesterday taking some pictures of places I find beautiful on my everyday walks -->

Job Interview Time...

Fall has officially set in and I'm feeling a desperate need for change, gathering inspiration from the lovely weather here in Prince Edward Island.

I'm feeling like it's time to start working towards trying to become self-employed. I'm trying to up my crafting skills, my writing skills, and general decorating skills in the hopes that one of these days I will have it together enough to be able to make a living and manage my illness without having serious overlapping dilemmas.

Speaking of work, I have a job interview today! I feel slightly under-dressed (always a panicky scenario for interviews), but I don't own a suit so my typical over-accessorized look will have to do. I have a portfolio of my experience/education/writing so hopefully they will be impressed. I secretly wish it was a portfolio with my artistic endeavors, but that will have to wait for a bit.

I'm in absolute agony today - I had a bad sleep with nightmares last night and I'm paying the price for it with a completely inflamed back and stomachaches galore. I'm going to go try to take it easy and see if I can't get myself in better shape before this interview.

!!!!!

xoxo,

Annie

Inspiration :)

So I got rather bored the other day and delved back into my somewhat crafty nature. I made an 'Island-themed' collage that now is in need of a decent frame. It was a fun way to waste an hour of my time, that's for sure. Makes me inspired to continue looking for craft projects and supplies.

Also, I've found so many daily blogs over the last two days that I LOVE. My mind is expanding rapidly as to things I would try if only I could work up the ambition/have the money. The current weather is sucking all of the life out of me.

I have an interview on Monday for a human resources company, and on Tuesday I start my job part-time at an 'adult-only' shop, much to the despair of my parents. I can't turn down possible money at such dire financial times, that's for sure. Oh well, it will be an experience :).

My handsome/wonderful boyfriend took me out to dinner tonight and it was lovely (minus the fact that my Paella was not in the top 5 versions I've had).

Must go play Scene It with friends!

xoxo,

Annie

Looking forward to compiling some links to these favorite blogs in the next little bit!

Tattoo Musings...

I'm debating whether or not to further ink my body.

Tattoos are something I have always been enticed by, although I do think that the 'for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction' holds true. I've seen many truly beautiful pieces and many hideously tacky ones. I've lately been obsessed with the look of pin-up girls, including the one and only Suicide Girls. For my next tattoo, if I so decide to go down that route, I want something loudly feminine.

I currently have two tattoos - one on my stomach and one on the back of my neck.

This is the one on my neck:

Although not in blue, I just tweaked the contrast on the picture out of whack for fun.

The other one is a small dragonfly that is slowly fading after it's 5 years of being on my body.

Now to muse around the Internet for inspiration.

Professional Arts and Crafts Time!

Image: Threadless Tees

I have a new project for the weekend that is both exciting and terrifying:

A work/education portfolio!!

I have a rough one done, but I would definitely not brag with it to any respectable company. So it needs a little makeover. A lot of areas in my life actually need a similar go-over. I have an interview on Monday!! Maybe this will be my lucky charm. I most certainly need to come up with something here soon as I'm going epically broke.

:)

xoxo,

Annie

Six Things! <3

six things i'm looking forward to:
+ getting a job (which hopefully doesn't suck!)
+ going shopping for Christmas presents :)
+ learning more about crafting
+ the turning colors of the leaves (it's starting!)
+ working on becoming more optimistic
+ decorating the apartment

six things i did today:
+ drove my lovely boyfriend to work
+ ate a sandwich and drank some green tea
+ cut out some magazine clippings for collages
+ listed to frou frou
+ went to a job interview for afternoon delight
+ read adorable blogs

six things i wish i could do:
+ be independent enough to work entirely from writing and crafting
+ move into a nice house with a yard and lots of room to decorate
+ shop! (with more money than I have now)
+ make some more friends
+ get a pet and not be allergic to it

+ get a handle on this joyous illness that I have

six places i'd like to travel:
+ san francisco
+ paris
+ tokyo
+ istanbul
+ victoria
+ santorini

Mad Etsy Love

I wish I had an unlimited amount of money.

Like everyone else in the world.

In my case, purely for the ability to buy all the adorable things off of Etsy.com

Tis an addiction that outdoes Ebay.

Still on the never-ending job hunt... :(

Starting to feel like no one wants meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

And...I'm done whining.

Slow Times Learning The Ropes...

So.

It's a lazy Sunday. I've delved into long-lost craziness and managed to make myself rather concerned about my future. My face is managing to cover itself with cysts again, which is a depressing turn of events. I have the ability to become overwhelmed at absolutely nothing, and just sit and stare at the fridge choosing to never eat, instead of curing some simple hypoglycemia. Messes in the apartment seem insurmountable, so I just sit and stare at the wall.

I went to a whole set of interviews, but so far nothing has worked out. I'm awaiting a call in the early part of this week so fingers crossed - maybe there will be some money in my near future. It would be nice to contribute to the costs of my meds and general living, instead of just having my mother and boyfriend pay for me.

I've been looking around at some blogs that I find overly fantastic, so perhaps I will adopt some of their ideas. I'll post some links too as soon as I find something to raise the blood sugar. Until then, I will continue being entranced by the wonderful XBOX 360 game, Fallout 3.

Love, love

Annie

September Favorites :)

So I've been spending my Labour Day poking around one of my new favorite websites - Pink of Perfection: A Thrifty Girl's Guide to the Good Life. It's a beautiful website, the type that the rest of us blogger's only dream of achieving.

Anyways, in spirit of that I thought I'd compose a list of things that I'm currently loving:

1. Lists!! (I'm absolutely addicted to creating AND reading them). Amazon lists are potentially the most addictive thing in life for me. It causes me to covet things, but also saves me money in the sense that I can just close the window without popping my credit card information up.

2. Fall weather. It's crisp, cool, and clear outside - the perfect temperature to stir up the creative juices.

3. Shopping my wardrobe. It's a great way to both save money and find new and interesting ways to wear the pieces that you already have and simply forgot about.

4. Books! If there is one thing I have more than anything else, this is likely the culprit. There is something about opening one's mind to the printed word that moves me more than anything else can.

5. Wine and cheese. I'm not a big drinker, but I do love the combination of a nice wine and cheese. As the fall sets in, this is a tradition I plan on bringing to the forefront as it makes me feel like I get a slice of the good life without having to shell out major dollars to do it.

Honorable mention for current dislike:

Searching for jobs. I find job interviews somewhat stressful, and I've had two last week and one at noon tomorrow. I have a hard time not taking rejection personally, but the thought of being hired on and having to carve a niche in an entirely new territory also gives me a scare.

Oh well. I suppose it is time to go pull something out of the freezer to make for the man for supper.

xoxo,

Annie

Sleepy Long Weekends :)

Hrms...

Been slacking on the posting again. Oh well, I suppose that is the eternal struggle of the only semi-dedicated blogger. It's a Sunday night, but a long weekend, so I get to enjoy the company of my wonderful boyfriend who I love more than life itself. No matter what I ever have to complain about, I am still lucky purely in the fact that I had the opportunity to meet someone who knows me oh so well. We're being pretty lazy, a habit that we should probably work at shaking up, but it's working for now. I have a ton of books which I feel obligated to be pushing my way through, but I'm taking my time. I'm currently in the midst of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, a novel which I did expect to be remotely as compelling and emotionally involving as it has turned out to be. I haven't finished, but as of yet, I would highly recommend.

I had meetings with both my therapist and psychiatrist on Friday and it was a bit much. Usually those events are upsetting, and when combined with a very stressful job interview and an even more devastating evening, I was too tired to know what to do with myself. As a result, I've been a little extra sad, quiet, and contemplative this weekend. I think I may have officially run out of options in terms of the health systems on PEI. It's down to what I can learn from the world of books and the Internet I suppose. I'm crossing my fingers that I will be starting work in the near future, which means I will have to increase my time management skills tenfold. A likely good skill for me to keep working on anyways. It is potentially my last weekend of sleeping my life away, so I suppose I best enjoy it.

Anyone who stumbles upon it, wish me luck! We could definitely go for some more money around here!

xoxo,

Annie

My Life Consists of Brain Gaps

Yeah.

I'm not the smartest character ever, despite what I would like to think. Between forgetting my own phone number while leaving a message yesterday to forgetting how to get the gas cap off in my car today, I'm leaning towards the side of complete mental case. Talk about panic gaps. I love how my mind gets so embarrassed it manages to blur them into dream status.

I need to smarten up, lay off the drugs, or something similar. Who knows. I think it is a personality trait I've carried from childhood, as it is rare a day goes by where I don't get a hilariously embarrassing story to tell. When I lived in Montreal it was epically bad...I mean really, who gets stuck between bus doors while it's moving other than me??

Anyways, I'm trying to convince myself to calm down.

I purchased two of my favorite things: diet coke and the new InStyle magazine so perhaps that will go well.

Appointment with the gastroenterologist at 4 avec my mother. Fun times, fun times.