Things That Bug Me Mondays

• Carpal tunnel and tennis elbow are severely limiting my time on the computer...
• I'm going to miss my family when they are in Florida!
• I haven't spoken to Kim in so long that I feel like I'm going insane...
• Crying.
• Migraines
• The situation in Libya.
• SNOW - it is taking over this Island.
• I need to go through my closet and pare down the clothing as I can never find what I want when I want it.

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What is troubling you this Monday my friends?

xoxo,

Annie

Links, Links, Links!

My interesting Internet picks of the week!

The Strength of the Human Spirit that I wrote for the Fibromyalgia section of The Fight Like A Girl Club website.
http://www.thefightlikeagirlclub.com/2011/02/the-strength-of-the-human-spirit/

Some tips on self-love (always a good reminder when caught in the pitfalls of chronic illness).
http://blog.beliefnet.com/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat/2011/02/self-love-from-a-z.html

A yummy looking gluten-free recipe!
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1kPS0A/deliciouslyorganic.net/honey-coated-salmon-with-spinach-and-noodles/

A reflexology chart for the feet if you have anyone nice enough to practice on you!
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1tvLm7/www.dorlingkindersley-uk.co.uk/static/cs/uk/11/features/reflexology/footchart.html

Ways to boost your energy without chugging coffee (not that I don't love chugging coffee from time to time...).
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1I7idm/noedb.org/library/features/50_ways_to_boost_your_energy_without_caffeine

How to enjoy meditation.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/20ctlz/goodlifezen.com/2010/04/29/zen-meditation-how-to-enjoy-it/

I hope you find something you like in the mix!

xoxo,
Annie

Quotes of the Day - Natalie Portman

Cute is when your personality shines through your looks. Like, when you see someone's personality in the way they walk and you just feel like hugging them every time you see them.
Natalie Portman

I'm not convinced about marriage. Divorce is so easy, and that fact that gay people are not allowed to marry takes much of the meaning out of it. Committing yourself to one person is sacred.
Natalie Portman


I was really excited to get to shave my head - it's something I'd wanted to do for a while and now I had a good excuse. It was nice to shed that level of vanity.
Natalie Portman

Hope you are all feeling well and having a fantastic weekend!

xoxo,

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• Spending time wish Ashley now that she is home - as well as my parents who I'm going to miss terribly when they are in Florida.
• My oil paint Sharpie markers that are allowing me to transform an old coffee table into a work of art.
• The fact that people are trying to be understanding about my brutal hit of depression that I'm in, including myself.
• Whose Line is it Anyway? episodes always give me a laugh.
• Mom helping me go get groceries, as I find it impossible to do by myself.
• Amazing salads with avocado.
• Accidentally over-paying my bill last time, and having a credit this time :).
• New books!
• Getting my Fight Like A Girl club t-shirt in the mail!
• Academy Awards are this weekend!

(Images from WeHeartIt)

I just seem to be getting more and more sick over the days, but these are the things that have been brightening the days!  What have you appreciated throughout the week?

xoxo,
Annie

Help Get My Brain Up To Speed...

I wish that it was possible for people in the health industry to really understand severe chronic illness, but no one can know without living it themselves.  And that I don't wish upon other people.

As for myself, I'm currently not feeling well enough to churn out anything from my brain.

Tell me how you are all feeling!  Let me catch up with you all!

(Image from WeHeartIt)

xoxo,

Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

Pop culture is one of those things that let me drift away from the world and enter one that doesn't seem quite as malicious.  Here are some of the things I've looked at recently:

21-Adele:

This album is INCREDIBLE.  The song Rolling in the Deep is a particular highlight.  I am just now getting into Adele, and I must say her 19 album is almost as good as this one.  A stunningly haunting voice, a stunning girl, and stunning songs.  A must hear.

Blue Valentine:

These were incredible performances, don't get me wrong.  Alas, the movie was so depressing.  It was too real, it felt like I was watching the relationships of those in my life falling apart.  I watched it at a less than stellar time in my life, and it really just made me not enjoy the world.

Coupling:

Right up there with my favorite shows of ALL TIME.  I was sad that they got rid of Jeff's character in the fourth season, as he was the highlight for me (despite the fact that they are easily one of the strongest cast ensembles to be created).  I highly recommend that everyone watch this hilarious British comedy.  It is one of the few things that can make me laugh out loud :).

The New World:

This was a beautiful film.  I love the story of Pocahontas, and this delivered (the actress who plays her is breathtaking).  This will definitely get many re-watches in the future.  Perfect cinematography.

What have you heard or seen this week??

xoxo,
Annie

Chronic Pelvic Pain = No Friend Of Mine

Pelvic and leg pain is the enemy.  I'm not even on my period :(.

I am not entirely sure what it is, but my lord is it ever getting out of hand.

My mom is calling the endocrinologist tomorrow, and maybe seeing if I can get an OB-GYN who knows more about surgical issues, as opposed to my last one who only focused on reproduction.  It will likely take forever to get into a doc, so I'll probably just end up going to the ER the next time people are free and it flares.

Heavy painkillers are managing to keep me at a non-screaming level, but without them - I can't walk, I can't eat, and I scream like a wounded dog.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/7733550/how_chronic_pelvic_pain_impacts_the_pg2.html?cat=5

Talk about woman problems.

xoxo,
Annie

Things That Bug Me Mondays

• When I get so overemotional that having to make a decision equals me bursting into tears.
• Severe pelvic pain.  It is so NEVER cool and leads to crying on my part (apparently I'm crying a lot this week :/)
• Not being able to read novels due to a very foggy brain.
• Mouth sores.
• Wanting to be asleep ALL of the time.
• The fact that we are bombarded with snow this winter!
• Running out of Coupling on Netflix!

(Images from WeHeartIt)

I'm having a tough Monday on this end, but I'm sure tomorrow will look brighter!  What has been bothering you over the past week?  Let it out here and we'll all heal together...

xoxo,

Annie

Links, Links, Links!

These are some of the interesting things that I have found on the Internet this week!  I hope they give you some insight or enjoyment!

I'm pro ways to reduce stress!!
zenhabits.net/2008/10/10-simple-ways-to-live-a-less-stressful-life/

Weight loss secrets from around the world...
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/AuNTnc/shine.yahoo.com/event/autumninnewjeans/8-weight-loss-secrets-from-around-the-world-518978/

My newest article at But You Don't Look Sick!!
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/top-ten-lists/easing-the-strain-tips-for-body-mind/]

Pot smoking not linked to lung cancer according to an article at WebMD.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2SMbFM/www.webmd.com/content/article/122/114805.htm

24 useful habits to implement in your day.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2SfoD9/www.thechangeblog.com/24-daily-habits/

7 tips for cooking with Fibromyalgia.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/8UFh2b/www.thirdage.com/fibromyalgia/7-tips-cooking-fibromyalgia

More ideas on coping with stress!
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2qgfRp/www.empowher.com/emotional-health/content/50-ways-cope-stress

Taming stressful thoughts when you have Fibromyalgia and CFIDS.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2ZA9ws/www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/taming-stressful-thoughts-making-thoughts-work-for-you

xoxo,
Annie

Quotes of the Day - Rose McGowan

I realized a career is built as much on what you don't do as what you do do. ~Rose McGowan


I still say I can do whatever I want as long as I'm not hurting anyone else.  I don't understand why more people aren't like that. ~Rose McGowan

(Image from suicideblonde.tumblr.com)

xoxo,

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• Late night booze talk with friends on twitter.
• Painting.
• Following my own sleep schedule.
• Yoga and stretching.
• Soft (fashionable) clothes - of which I need more...
• Reading blogs!
• Bubble baths with TONS of bubbles.
• My new framed Peanuts comic strip :).
• Time spent with my most lovely friend Sarah (and later today hopefully time in bed as I am awake and exhausted!!).

(L-R: Liz, Sarah, Sam, me!)

(to all my readers!)

(Images from me and WeHeartIt)

What little things are you grateful for at the end of this week?  Would love to know!

xoxo,

Annie

The Friendship of the Chronically Ill (A Poem)

It's like magic.
I overturned a stone and there you were
Vibrant and beautiful
Despite being a damaged specimen
Like myself.
I blended my roots with yours
We became entwined
Into something greater than ourselves alone.
A friendship in the most dire circumstances bloomed
and we became stronger together.
We both require extra special care
But that just makes us a rare form
Special and delicate, 
But worth the effort.
Separated by necessity, not by choice.
Together in spirits,
Two minds aligned
A love forever
Until our end of time.

~ written by Annie for @KimbellyBull.


Felt like the blog needed a poem today.  Hope you all enjoy!

xoxo,
Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

Laying in bed, in tons of pain, and completely miserable.  Alas, pop culture gets to be my friend.  Here are some of my favorites:

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire:

My lovely Canadians won big at the Grammy's!!  This is a fantastic album, although everything they have released is highly enjoyable.  A huge amount of instrumentals really sets this band apart from the others.  I think my favorite track may be "Modern Man."  I recommend that those who haven't been listening jump on the bandwagon.

Burlesque:

I didn't have high hopes for this movie - which may be the reason why I ended up liking it so much.  It far exceeded my expectations for a Christina Aguilera and Cher combination.  I liked the feisty personalities and show-stopper songs/costumes.  It was a lot of fun for my spare time.  Plus, the male lead is yummy.

Despicable Me:

This movie makes me happier every single time I see it.  This is right up there with Toy Story 3 for being the best animated film of the year.  Steve Carell does an amazing job as a super-villain turned caring dad to three girls.  This film is cuteness overload with a side of extra-cute.

Cry Baby:

I couldn't believe I had never seen this!  A Johnny Depp musical that I hadn't feasted my eyes upon.  It was soooooooooooo much fun!  A little over-the-top sure, but really enjoyable.  One of the best times that I have had watching movies recently.

What have you watched/listened to and loved?

xoxo,
Annie

So Let Go, Let Go...

I am watching a movie - Ellie Parker, and it has me thinking...

For a long time, we wander about this Earth, waiting for something to give our lives meaning.  Something to make our "lives" start.  Sometimes it is a career, a family, losing weight, or an impossible dream.  For awhile I felt this way about my illness...I thought if only I could hold on long enough to get through university and get a job, I could finally start feeling enjoyment.  Many of us pretend to be other people for far too long.

Funny thing is...life doesn't work that way.  Life is right now, at this very second, whether your dreams ever come true or not.  You are responsible for your own happiness (even if you have chemical imbalances that swing you the other way, as I do...).  I had to become seriously ill to realize what parts of me were real and what parts were not.

We are train wrecks, and that is why stories of human life are so fascinating.  We can break up the pain though.  We have that power.  Know yourself and treat yourself well.  Let yourself experience feelings.  Being angry and despairing is OK.  Being happy is OK.

The process of life is hard enough...we do not have to make it any harder.

xoxo,
Annie

Things That Bug Me Mondays

• Not getting to run off to Florida with my parents! I need to get started on a passport (I think I say that line every single day).
• Grocery shopping...why does it have to be such a massive chore?
• My body is misbehaving for the billionth day in a row.
• Skin pain for Valentine's Day.
• Money, money, money! Why is it always so important?
• Not being able to make a friend feel better in a time of need.
• Jon being wrapped in work and at the gym!
• The fact that my pictures keep getting half deleted in Blogger :/

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!  Sending hugs and kisses to all!

(Images from WeHeartIt)

How is your Valentine's Day?  How is your Monday?  It can be either/or or both!

xoxo,
Annie

Links, Links, Links!

Dancing all over the Internet this week - this is what I've found!

Possible secrets to life (I need!).
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/8YZSE0/www.highexistence.com/life-secrets-and-tips/comment-page-1

Stress management techniques!
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/52eDYc/www.stress-anxiety-depression.org/stress/stress-management-techniques.html

Coping with Fibromyalgia, Mayo Clinic style:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fibromyalgia-pain/AR00055

An interview about CFS from years ago about the lovely Sarah Marie Lacy!
http://www.fm-cfs.ca/Sarah.html

Minimize Drama:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-crucial-steps-to-minimize-drama-in-your-life/

Make meditation easy!
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/8-ways-to-make-meditation-easy-and-fun

Some techniques to enhance creativity :).
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/92gJg4/www.mycoted.com/creativity/techniques/

The Oatmeal sums up the Internet:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/state_web_winter

Hope you all enjoy these little distractions!

Much love to everyone,
Annie

Quotes of the Day - Johnny Depp (Drool!)

Am I a romantic? I've seen 'Wuthering Heights' ten times. I'm a romantic.
Johnny Depp 


I am doing things that are true to me. The only thing I have a problem with is being labeled.
Johnny Depp 


I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.
Johnny Depp 


People say I make strange choices, but they're not strange for me. My sickness is that I'm fascinated by human behavior, by what's underneath the surface, by the worlds inside people.
Johnny Depp 

xoxo,

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• Finally getting some zzz's.  Sleep is so important and I need to get more of it.
• New candle holders thanks to Jon's mom!
• Having a truce in the relationship to blow up at each other less.
• New York Fashion Week!!
• Painting - I need new canvases!
• Putting on makeup, even if I'm not leaving the house.
• First I thought Twitter was the most addictive thing possible.  Now I'm pretty sure the award goes to Tumblr.
• Dreaming about planting a flower garden :).
• Modern Family.
• Gluten-free poutine.

(Images from WeHeartIt)

I obviously need to do more arts and crafts.  They just make me so happy :).

What are the little things making life more bearable (even enjoyable!) this week??  Share your gratefulness here :).

xoxo,

Annie

Things I Hate About Going To The Dentist!

Top Ten Things I Hate About The Dentist:

• I have a massive phobia about the place and had a ton of panic attacks on Tuesday when I went...I do not like people poking around in my mouth.
• Even if I have earplugs, the drilling, scratching, and subsequent horrible noises rock me to my very core.
• My teeth are incredibly sensitive and every time they use sharp objects on them I get nerve pain shooting through my body.
• My TMJ and small jaw make it REALLY hard to keep my mouth open!
• The assistant and dentist talk to me and expect responses when their tools are stuffed in my mouth.
• That too clean feeling you get afterward.
• When the dentists AND the doctors can't seem to figure anything out for my pain.
• Fluoride makes me nauseous.
• When they accidentally cut my gums...
• Trying to get out of that chair after being in it for almost an hour.  My body gets soooooooooooooo stiff!!

(Image from WeHeartIt)

End rant.

Does seeing the dentist make anyone else miserable??

xoxo,
Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

Let's wind up this Wednesday by talking about some Oscar nominations.

I have now officially seen all ten of the films up for the award of best picture.

Here are my top four:

The King's Speech:

My pick for Best Picture.  There was nothing not to love about this movie.  All three main actors pull out some of the best performances of their lives, in the most likable film of the year.  It made me smile, it made me laugh, it ripped out my heartstrings, it put the pieces back together...and all was perfect.  Best Actor will hopefully go to Colin Firth too!

Black Swan:

My other favorite movie of the year, although I have a feeling that not everyone will feel as strongly about it as I do.  Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have so much combined beauty that I thought my eyeballs were going to pop right out of my head.  I could not take my eyes away from the television.  I thought this film was the most creative and stunning train wreck of a human being that I have ever seen represented.  Natalie Portman deserves that Oscar.

The Fighter:

This film rounds out my top three choices.  I actually delayed seeing this as long as possible, as I couldn't imagine that this was any different than the last clump of fighter movies that were thrown out.  This movie is special in so many ways.  Christian Bale plays a crack addict impeccably, but he still has massive love for his brother, despite his epic narcissism.  The turn around in human relationships come the end of this film is enough to warm anyone's heart.

True Grit:

This movie was great for two things - how much ass that little girl kicked and how much I love Jeff Bridges.  The first half I found to be far more captivating than the latter.  Still worth a watch, but by no means will it win the best awards.

What films are you rooting for at the Academy Awards?

xoxo,
Annie

Feedback Please!

Yesterday, I was on a blogging idol's website - www.yesandyes.org!
I wrote the article "True Story: I'm Chronically Ill" - check it out here:
http://www.yesandyes.org/2011/02/true-story-im-chronically-ill.html
So excited about it!

Otherwise...today I'm looking for some feedback.

I want to find ways to make this blog as inspiring and helpful to people with chronic illness(es) as physically (and internet-ly) possible.

I've noticed that few people ever comment on the Links weekly post - should I remove it?  Should I come up with something in its place?  What about Pop Culture Wednesday?

Is the layout easy enough to read?

Is there something that you want to see more of after two years of this blog being alive?

Are there any topics that you would like me to cover that I have not yet covered?

I want to make my readers happy :).  Any feedback would be much appreciated.

Lots of love,
Annie

Things That Bug Me Mondays

• My high tolerance for medication.
• Losing the pain clinic.
• Car accident.
• My knees are being assholes.
• EXHAUSTION.
• Having a worse overall mood than usual (which I must keep an eye on...).

Not the worst week, but certainly not the best!

(Images found at WeHeartIt)

Alas, I started watching the television show Coupling this weekend and it's been providing a laugh a minute.  Maybe I will be lucky and the pain will stop eating at me.  Go go meditation mode.  Share what has been on your mind this week, and we can all heal together!

Internet hugs would be good.

xoxo,

Annie

Links, Links, Links!

Here is a fine sampling of some things I have stumbled upon (sometimes quite literally), over the course of the last week.  I hope you can find some use in them!  It's always fun to find them!

My latest article for The Fight Like A Girl Club:
http://www.thefightlikeagirlclub.com/2011/02/what-to-do-when-pain-takes-over/

The healthiest foods you can find for under a dollar!
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1Ym6tf/www.divinecaroline.com/article/22107/52070/print

More budget-friendly health ideas.
http://www.healthonabudget.com/budget-health-ideas.html

Image on speculation of how CFS functions in the brain.
http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID6579/images/cfs2-4.jpg

Shopping tips for those with CFS!
http://www.possibilism.org/6-tips-to-help-you-shop-when-youre-ready-to-drop/

Advice from those in the Reddit community who cope with having CFS.
http://www.reddit.com/r/cfs/comments/epok7/hey_cfsers_how_are_you_coping/

Guilt and pain...they go hand in hand.
http://www.possibilism.org/pain-what-does-guilt-have-to-do-with-it/

How to encourage happiness within yourself.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/9axAt1/www.thechangeblog.com/happiness-within-yourself/

Some great quotations with visuals!
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/9tgT3F/www.fromupnorth.com/2010/10/inspiration-gallery-139-various-quotations/

What are you loving and learning on the Internet this week?

xoxo,
Annie

Quotes of the Day - House M.D.

(Images from WeHeartIt)

Meeeeeee tooo Dr. House, meeeeeee tooo.  I'm like to tell myself that I'm slightly more optimistic than he is, but honestly, I think I am becoming embittered as well.

The joys of the chronically ill.

xoxo,

Annie

Love Me Fridays

• My mother is the best mother ever!!
• My boyfriend who takes care of me whenever I'm sick and goes to buy me Powerade and Glucerna and ice cream.
• Movies! I've been watching every movie nominated for the Academy Awards and they have all been wonderful this year.
• Painting with my fingers. I LOVE it.
• That I get to write for www.butyoudontlooksick.com!
• Brainstorming.
• Zombie Cafe on the iPod Touch.
• Medication.
• A comfortable bed to stuck in for the day.

(Images from WeHeartIt)

What are the little joys that you have been experiencing this week? Let's take some time to reflect on what we are grateful for, especially when it distracts us from the pain in our lives.

xoxo,

Annie

Another Healthcare Disappointment

This is the state of healthcare in Canada today:

Pain Clinic doctor gave me the release forms, claiming there was nothing left he could do.  Now I don't even have anyone to prescribe my medications.  You would say a family doctor, but my family doctor still doesn't believe in Fibromyalgia as anything more than an ache.

I was angry for awhile but now I'm just sad.

Changes have to be made.  BIG changes.  Where the system is actually in place to help people get by, instead of just leaving them to feel left for dead.  The mental health system is even worse for this kind of behavior.

It makes me sick to my stomach.

xoxo,
Annie

Pop Culture Wednesday

In my latest days of living in distraction from my beautiful pain scenario, I have stumbled upon these pieces of pop culture that piqued my interest:

Island of the Sequined Love Nun:

This book is the epitome of all things Christopher Moore - completely bizarre, hilarious, and touching.  Tucker Case finds himself in a remote world full of organ trafficking, along with his plucky sidekicks.  It's not my favorite book he's ever written, but if you like Christopher Moore, you usually want to read his whole collection.

REC:

One of the scariest films I have seen in recent memory!  The first-person recording is done optimally in this case, making it feel so real.  The characters are likable, the pacing is perfect, and it is easily one of the best films in the mutating human (zombie) category.

The Social Network:

I get it.  Mark Zuckerberg is a SMART guy.  His business skills are sharp, and he traded friends for enemies in his climb up the socio-economic ladder.  I like this film as a character study, but it is really not best picture material.  That's why I was SOOOOOO happy that The King's Speech won at the SAGs last night!

Beyond Scared Straight:

We all know how I love my rehab dramas.  A&E produced two new series this year - Beyond Scared Straight and Heavy.  

I enjoy watching the kids learning the realities of jail and making bonds and changes that will help them in the long run.  I can't relate as much to the show Heavy, but I can understand their feelings.  As for the excessive working out...I don't think this body would allow it!

What have you been watching/listening to/reading this week?  Recommendations?

xoxo,

Annie

Tumblr Love

For the longest time, I thought Tumblr wasn't for me.

I wanted to express myself in words and only words for the longest time.  I finally broke down and made a Tumblr at fragileannie.tumblr.com, and it's been nothing but a joy.  There are ways that songs, pictures, and clips that can express your insides in ways that words just cannot not touch.  They are complimentary mediums in every way.  I feel like my methods of expressing my battle with chronic illness have expanded dramatically.

So if anyone wants a glimpse inside of my mind, definitely go check it out.  It's like a constant stream of consciousness that goes hand in hand with Twitter.

xoxo,
Annie

P.S. today = a pain specialist who has run out of ideas for me, blood work, a car collision, and a dead car battery and freezing cold weather.  Twas' less than stellar.  I thought I was totally fine, but my back has been aching a lot and my jaw is in an absolute stress mess.  Internet hugs and love are welcome!