Grrrrrr...

I need to work on controlling my anger.

Badly.

There is something about being sick all the time that really encourages snapping. It's not an excuse for sure, but it definitely leans you in the direction of anger as opposed to general sadness. There are few things more frustrating than feeling like you constantly have the flu, but having no idea why, or if it could ever stop. Add in the fact that you hold just as many responsibilities as the average healthy person and it becomes a full out mess.

This is an open apology to anyone I've ever hurt because of these short, irrational anger outbursts...but I'm feeling bad for one in particular this morning. My significant other definitely gets the brunt of these attacks, when much of the time he is the one least deserving. In days prior, it was my immediate family. Usually they are over the stupidest things (in this morning's case, an empty gas tank...), and they are just a result of my inability to channel excess emotions into anything remotely useless.

Anyways, what I'm trying to get to is that this is something I desperately want to work on. It's one thing for me to feel that way, and another for me to take it out on people who don't deserve it. I can't imagine it makes them feel any better when they go about their day.

Ideas...(anyone is welcome to chip in...)

1. Breathe before saying anything.

2. Take up yoga again.

3. Use the good old "I" statements instead of "You" statements.

4. Turn on music.

5. Write it down first (although these things involve segregating myself and I'm not sure that is to my benefit either...).

Who knows.

I'll figure something out.

Until then, it's pill taking time...

xoxo,

Annie