Tuesday, December 14, 2010

11 Things My Life Does Not Need in 2011

  1. Putting up walls around myself.  I've done it for years, and I do not need to anymore.  I'm confident enough in my own (slightly evil) body, and I want to get closer to those who are important to me.  Especially my family.  I feel less ashamed of my illnesses every day, and I hope I will be able to continue this journey.  Now I want to know about everyone else :).
  2. Spending too much time laying still.  I actually feel better when I take a meditation position, or do some stretching.  Now that I have a great mat and space for it, I have no excuse.  Who knows, maybe it will magically bring me to the point that I could have a part-time job (dream!).
  3. Not making meals.  Jon has even offered to play one night on, one night off in terms of household cooking.  It's not that hard.  Just because I don't have an appetite doesn't mean I shouldn't try to put the best nutrition into my body (and my boyfriend's).
  4. Too much of the news.  It's depressing.  It's unnecessary unless at a dinner party.  I have better uses of my emotional energy.
  5. Feeling guilty about my emotions.  My emotions are as real and as fair as any other person's.  I have to stop dismissing them as crazy or over-reactive.  Everyone has a different perception of the world, and mine is not wrong in any way.
  6. Hunched shoulders and clenched hands - this is my natural state of being and it is extremely unhealthy.  I don't know how to relax.  It is my goal of 2011 to be mindful, and to notice when this is happening so I can put my shoulders down and open up my hands.
  7. Cleaning my side room which is all full of storage after getting our washer and dryer.  That space is important for crafting, and I need to clear it out.  The year 2011 does not want a room too messy to even use.
  8. I don't need to pretend that my doctors know more about my condition than I know.  I'm hugely well-educated in my issues, and I don't need doctors who don't believe in Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS shaking my confidence.  I will be polite obviously, but I don't need to internalize the pain.
  9. Drama. I'm SO OVER drama.
  10. Letting the moods of other people affect mine.  This is a natural process, but I need to learn to the fact that people can be upset without it having anything to do with me.
  11. Lessen some of my medication.  I don't know if this will happen, but I sure want to try.
What do you want to drop for the New Year?  What are your bad habits?  Do any of these ring a bell?

xoxo,
Annie

9 comments:

Annie said...

You've made me stop and think.

I definitely want to drop the pointless drama! It's one thing to be there for a friend but entirely another when they dump their life's problems on you daily & never even bother to ask how ur day was.

I also want to "drop" being non-compliant w meds. I take meds n the evening but NEVER remember n the AM. I know it wld make a huge diff if I actually took my meds the way I am supposed to!

This was a great post Annie, much better than your typical new year's resolutions!

kitty said...

Hey Annie x Great list and some very well made points! Definitely got to stick to these ;-) Just wondering, what kind of stretches do you do? I'm strugglng to find something my body can cope with at the moment. xx

Josie said...

Hi Annie - I'm having serious problems with my family....been sick for ten yrs, they always complained that they didn't understand what was going on. Now I've started forwarding a couple of things to help them understand, now I feel as though a gag order is being issued from entire family to make me shut up! Makes me mad as when I try to explain things happen like my mother says, "now remember your sister has BIG problems too. U should just ignore her when she (bites off ur head for nothing)". Now I am a "grown a$$ woman" (late 30s), very well educated, oldest child in fam, etc and have been getting crap from them all my entire life. I understand that everyone in the world has problems and hate that. But, r my sister's problems gonna kill her some day? NO. But mine eventually will.....I know this post makes NO SENSE, I'm tired, my bones hurt, everything hurts, & I'm sick of the many insane ways my fam treats me. I guess I always thought it would get better when I got older...nope. Or that they'd b nicer after I now have serious illnesses? Nope. I guess thanks for letting me vent a few things.....

May said...

Some of your list makes me feel like you've been reading my mind! I'm so ready to stop being ashamed of myself! Good luck and best wishes for the New Year!

Annie said...

I'm glad people are liking this list! It took me a long time to think about and develop.

I know a lot of people in my situation need to come to similar terms with their illnesses.

Kitty - I have a few books on stretching, and I just do light ones on a well padded mat. Don't push it, just let it come to you.

Josie - I'm so glad I can give you a place to vent, and I'm sending my positive energy your way <3

Anonymous said...

Great post. I'm going to ponder those and write a list.

anxious_gurl said...

Woops I posted anonymously. I'm @anxious_gurl.

elisabeth said...

What awesome goals! I need to think this over some, but I can tell you a big one right now- letting go of fear. I do a lot in spite of my fears and won't let them stop me- now I need to work letting go of them altogether!

sewtired said...

Amen. I am particularly feeling the item about emotions right now: am feeling like a drama queen for being upset that my ex is over our 12yr relationship so quickly (He seduced me three months ago after ending it in June, resented pushing my chair, never offered to get a taxi so we could go out, and now knows a girl for a month and it's a break in Iceland, two and he's off to Toronto for Christmas with her, weep... plus I was the last to find out, ouch...)