Thursday, September 9, 2010

A Rainbow Among Clouds

(Image from WeHeartIt)

This is what I am trying to be right now.  My best friend is in crisis.  I am in crisis.  Friends online are in crisis. If there is ever one thing I want to be remembered for, it is the support I try to give to others.  I can't say I'm a huge fan of general humanity, but when it comes to those I care about, I care with my entire heart - ALL OF THE TIME.

I care about Jon all of the time.  I care about my immediate family all of the time.  I care about Sarah all of the time.  I care about my twitter friends all of the time.

It is incredibly difficult to be full of love and cheer whenever you are sick all the time.  In my moments where I can be of use, I want to channel my energy into bringing joy to those I care about.

So many of us with chronic illnesses spend our time being in a hard place mentally and physically, and are typically prone at snapping at people (maybe? am I incredibly rare there?).  I want to focus on making myself as centered as someone in can be in such a situation.  

Stability is what I need.  That and sharing love.

I love you all for reading!



Rachael said...

I am prone at snapping at people, especially when I am unwell and exhausted. I hope things turn around for you and someone can be your rainbow soon :)

Anonymous said...

I snapped at ny Hubby the other nihgt because I dudn't feel goof. He understodd...I'm luckt. Being crabby is juts part of kife, even if you're not sick.

Baffled said...

I snap when I'm trying to push through my afternoon crash. My husband usually bears the brunt of this and is slowly figuring out not to push me when I use the magic words "I am done." It is my key phrase that I tend to use when all of my energy is used up and I should be lying down not trying to find the stupid pan lid.

I just joined a group called nerdfighters. Their mission is to decrease world suck and increase world awesome by using brains and calcualtors. Each day I try to do at least one little thing that decreases suck even if it is just picking up the pile of books that has just spent the last month on the floor. It makes husband happy when I do things like that. It truely is the little things in life that increases world awesome. Or in the words of Sleep Talkn' Man "The world's just not as sparkly as you want it to be. We should all carry some glitter and add a little bit along the way."

Jamie Valendy said...

I understand. I always want to help or be there for others, and it's really hard when you're in crisis yourself. I get really snappy a lot, when I'm in pain. My husband bears the brunt of it, and I feel bad about that since he's the one that cares for me when I hurt (i.e., all the time). We're all trying our best. Blessings.

What the Fog said...

I snap a lot too when I can't fake it anymore. Lately my husband and kids have all needed me in a big way (not all at the same time!) and it does feel really good to support and encourage them, like I used to. I don't feel like such a drain when I can "give back". I find I actually snap less, remembering that everyone has pain/troubles at times, not easy though when walking across the room seems impossible!

A FIGHTER said...

nice post....:)

Anonymous said...

a also tend to snap at people when they haven't really done anything wrong. too many days of unbearable pain and fatigue in a row make me super cranky. then i feel even more guilt than usual about how i treat the people who care about me -- which makes me more cranky -- which makes me snap more. it's not pretty.

thank you for being someone i can rely on when i need a friend.

<3 you!

-SR (@gradstdntwlupus)

Sue Jackson said...

What a wonderful attitude, Annie! I firmly believe that being kind and compassionate to others is not only the right thing to do but comes back to us in hundreds of ways and benefits the giver as well as the receiver. I've received so much kindness and support from the blogging community - it's really enriched my life.

Yup, I snap and get crabby, too, when I'm crashed. The ironic (and sad) thing is that I tend to be crabbiest with the people closest to me - I guess the shields are down around them!