Friday, April 9, 2010

Love Me Fridays

This has been the hardest two weeks of my entire life, and I've had a lot of hard weeks.  As a result, I'm not feeling the love for very many things but I'll try.

  • I have no brain tumors.
  • I have a slight increase of artistic inspiration as a result of being emotionally overwhelmed (although I can't do anything with it as I am physically overwhelmed).
  • That I have the best boyfriend in the world, even though our relationship is crumbling under the stress of the illness.
  • Being home...I could not take one more minute of being in a hospital where I felt as though I was being verbally abused and completely ignored.
  • The kindness of everyone on this blog, and the few people in my life who have allowed me to continue with the idea that I should try to keep fighting, even though my fight keeps getting weaker and weaker.
But honestly, I had the weirdest appointment with a neurologist in my life yesterday.  He told me that I have a normal brain (that apparently looks like a Goblin...), and that obviously I am just being over-medicated.  I was advised to drop the medications and trust in nature.  If nature wants me to be sick, I should learn to be okay with being sick.  It doesn't matter that I'm in excruciating pain or that I've lost my sense of smell and most of my sense of taste.  

I go back to another doctor tomorrow morning.  I'm trying to stay positive...I really am, but I feel like my body and soul have been cracked open and sliced to bits.  As a result, it's hard for me to keep up with anyone else and I'm definitely feeling the backlash.

Hope all is well with all my wonderful blog readers :)

(Images from WeHeartIt)



Anonymous said...

I stop by now and again to read your blog, I hope that all goes well and you start to feel some relief somewhere!! it must be hard for you at times, just remember that you indeed have agreat boyfriend!!! I hope all works out in the end!!! :)

Rosebud Beads said...

Sorry times are tough my dear. <3

Toni said...

I know it's hard Annie, but I think you should do what you're doing which is to continuing to fight to find out what's wrong with you. If nature doesn't want you to have a sense of smell or other sense sensations, okay, but the medical profession should be able to confirm that that's what is truly all that's wrong with you. A virus can cause the loss of the sense of smell. There are lots of possible causes.

And nature doesn't just put people in pain. If you're in pain, there's a cause.

Okay, that was all just my opinion (and I'm sorry because you didn't ask for it) but I just admire how you don't give up.

I'm so glad that your boyfriend is being supportive.

Keep up posted.


Alison said...

Overmedication is a bad thing, if a neurologist says your overmedicated, it might be true. That's the trouble with not having a solid diagnosis, I've been on at least a few medications that have done me more harm than good. I hope your doctors appointment tomorrow is helpful!

Assiya said...

I'm happy that:
*I finally get to stop my birth control (I was on it for migraines but it was actually making my migraines worse).
Annie's back :) !!!!!!!!!!

Annie said...

Thank you all so much, and Toni, I totally agree with you that pain must come from somewhere!