Thursday, August 26, 2010

A Country Girl In The City...

I'm contemplating moving out to the country.

I am having moderate panic attacks about the whole thing, but they are mostly related to change and the lack of control I feel over any situation.  I should think positive.  I should think about the changes, such as the ability to go outside without it being a huge event with staring people.  The thought of not having drug users in our hallway and a drug dealer upstairs is mind-blowing.  We could have a place that wouldn't have a hole through the wall in the hallway, the narrow staircase, or the backwards door (can anyone say fire hazard??).  There would potentially be more help to take care of my failings at emotional regulation.

Jon is thinking he might be okay with coming with me, as I've started to cry all the time again and I'm back to the insomnia.

I think I need a change.  I just need to figure out how.





What about you?  Do you prefer to live in the city or the country??  The suburbs?  How does it affect your illness?

xoxo,
Annie

14 comments:

middle child said...

The pictures you posted show just the calm life I try to live. The country. Hands down.

Baffled said...

I've lived in both city and very rural areas and everything in between. I prefer the burbs. I've found that out in the sticks if you haven't been born there you are forever an outsider. In the burbs people come and go all the time so it isn't weird when someone new moves in. It takes about two years to get established in a new hood. I like the burbs cuz there are lots of services available and good doctors and low crime rates. You get out into the sticks and you may have to drive for an hour to get to the "good" hospital which can be a bitch if you are knee deep in snow at the time. The first time I had an icepick migrane I lived in the sticks. The ER doc was looking up my symptoms in a diagnostic manual and told me I had some weird nerve disorder. Then when I got the regular docs they gave me all sorts of meds except migrane meds cuz they all thought it was a nerve disorder. It wasn't till I moved to the Boston area that I got a real neuro consult and got real mirgrane meds that gave me some relief. What ever you decide make sure there are excellent medical services available. I do agree you need to get out of where you are. You don't need the stress of drug dealer/users in your living space.

crazy333girl said...

I've done a circle in my life. I grew up in a small town and hated it then moved to the city. I lived in cities most of my adult life but never quite "fit". Last year I moved to a very small island with only 1000 people. I love it and don't ever want to leave. I can get the ferry to the city if I want to but I really feel like I found a "home". It's also made a huge difference to my depression. I am much less stressed about life here.

Plus it's much cheaper than the city!!!

Rachael said...

PLEASE move if that is what you are dealing with on a daily basis! You deserve so much better, regardless of your health <3

Migrainista said...

I agree, you should move from that situation no matter what.

I prefer to live between country and city - more like a small city.

Annie said...

I totally forgot that the burbs were an option here, so I'll go stick that back up there. Apparently my brain is running on autopilot. I agree though - need to move.

Baffled said...

The countryside has been so idealized. Sometimes you happen on the right one and get accepted into it and life is good but having lived in rural towns and visiting my sister out in the Adirondaks there are issues with it. You have to drive hours to get to mediocre stores. There are often crappy if any doctors and even crappier hospitals. When my sister's husband was bleeding out they chanced an hour trip to the good hospital up in Burlington VT rather than deal with the crappy local one. Turned out it was cancer and he had a two hour commute for his treatments and doctor visits. Luckily this didn't happen during the winter when the roads become impassable. We are thinking of moving ourselves. The town where we bought our house has become more citified during the fifteen years we've lived here. We want a bigger piece of land so we have more privacy. However, we are making sure that we are close to a decent town and good health care. Good luck.

phylor said...

There are positives and negatives about life in the country and life in the city. I grew up in the city/burbs, moved to the country, then back to the city. Now, I live in a city that is a suburb, but likes like a small town.
I don't mind smaller cities because the country is never all that far away, and there usually are some services available so that you don't always have to go to a major center for health issues, etc.
I agree with Baffled, "You don't need the stress of drug dealer/users in your living space."
In rural areas, transportation can be an issue: probably little or no public transit; winter roads (always a consideration in Canada :)) but your neighbours are usually farther away (for better or worse!).
What ever option you choose: city; country; the burbs, I hope you can move soon.

Selena said...

Wow, I am the wrong person to ask about the country. I was born and raised in Los Angeles an never left!

I love it here and appreciate having a good smattering of options when it comes to most everything: stores, places to go, things to do and medical care. In every city there are good part and bad parts and it helps to live in a good part of town if you can afford it.

I would worry if I lived in the country about access to medical care and transportation.

(((((hugs)))))

Felicia said...

Great topic! For me, I prefer suburban living. I have fairly easy access to all the things I need, including great medical care, without having to pay to park everywhere I go and the prices, noises and bright lights of the city. In the country I tend to feel too separated and like everything I want to do/need access to is a hassle to get to. Actually, I felt like running errands/getting things was a huge hassle in the city too. It just took so long to accomplish in the city that I would feel like all my time was wasted and I'd be fatigued.

Good luck making your decision!

Sue Jackson said...

Well, we live in the suburbs. It's great for the kids - lots of friends nearby and good schools. The downside is having to drive to get anywhere, but with CFIDS, how far could I really walk anyway?

I love to visit NYC, but every time I'm there I think I could NEVER live there - too much noise, too many crowds - overall, just too much stimulation for someone with CFS.

The other factor is that I find being outdoors in nature very calming - just like those beautiful pictures you posted! Even if I can't take a walk wit my friends or hike with my family (both of which I enjoy very much when I am up to it), just looking out my window at the woods behind our house or lying on the deck make me feel better.

If you can manage the move physically, then I say go for it! Change is good...

Sue

Toni said...

It sounds like you definitely need to get out of the place you're in. The only problem with the country is the lack of access to medical care. I'm wondering about this new bout of insomnia. Did you have any follow-up at the clinic where the nurse and the doctor were initially so helpful?

Perhaps you could compromise -- move to the outskirts of town so you have access to services you might need but aren't in an urban environment. The best places I ever lived were in the country -- one place in California and the other near you -- on the South Shore in Nova Scotia.

Thich Nhat Hanh (writer of many books on mindfulness) once said that when you were feeling depressed, just go out into nature and it will help. It always helps me.

Maria said...

I like where I live. I live in a suburb of Chicago. It's not rural at all, but it's a really quiet neighborhood. It's typical suburbia, with mile after mile of homes and little strip malls. But it's quiet and calm enough to where it's not a toxic environment, and somehow, my suburb has a major hospital a 3 minute drive away from me. I, however, get my health care in the city (remnants from when I used to live there), which is a whole 30 minute drive, with traffic.

elisabeth said...

Moving away from a stressful apartment situation to a quieter suburb has had a big, positive impact on my health. The opportunity to sleep better is a big plus! I went from suburbs to country to city and back again and they all have their pluses and minuses. The biggest drawback to the country (as someone else noted) is the huge commute time to, well, anything. If you can't/don't drive it becomes extremely difficult to get around. I loved the peace and privacy, but that was before my immune system went berserk- I'm nto sure that I could do it now.