Saturday, May 15, 2010

Tears Are A-Falling

I was going to write about the results of my psychiatrist visit today.

Alas, the alarm didn't go off.  I woke up a half hour later and frantically called the office.  I was guilt-tripped that he came in especially for me, and I should be ashamed of myself for not getting there, alarm clock or not (*by his receptionist).  If there is anything I pride myself on, it is being reliable.  Well, now I've put a glitch on that record.

I needed that appointment and now it is set for several weeks out.  I had a particularly upsetting day yesterday and today hasn't helped either.  I have been bawling my eyes out for about 18 hours (minus 6 or so of sleep...).

I'm tired of this.  I'm tired of the weird things with my body and the weird things with my brain.

Help my mind everyone, do you all get tired too?  Or am I just being weak?



SR said...

my dear, you are not weak!! we ALL get tired with the crap that our bodies put us through! hang in there, babe, hope things look up soon! <3 xoxo

Anonymous said...

Oh Annie! Weak is definately not a word I would use to describe you. And....what a jerk of a doctor to talk to you like that. Maybe tomorrow you will find some peace. Wish I could do something.

Dominique said...

I understand that "he came in just for you" but I think a little grace could be extend here. You have CFIDS! Hello. Over-sleeping is quite normal for us folks. Heck, yesterday, it was 12 - lunch time - before I woke up. I had meant to wake up at 10!

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Maybe some bed time would help.

Hang in there.

Phoenix Peacock said...

As someone who is chronically sick and works in the mental health field... this makes my blood boil. I'm so sorry you were guilt-tripped; particularly because almost everyone I know who is sick (including me) guilt trips themselves enough already.
chin up! Sending you gentle hugs

Anonymous said...

Annie ~

As is said, "you are right on schedule" in your life!

Let's see, since we have similar tastes in TV watching... is there anything good on tonight?? :-} TV can be such a great distraction, and it can be a great comforter, ya know? Sometimes.


Sairs said...

I'm sorry you feel so crap and yes I do get tired and I think I am my worst at those times, with my mental health issues. I am meant to use my DBT skills which are on small business sized cards in a small business card holder, then no one looking at me in public in the middle of a crisis, would think twice about what I was reading. I also do mindfulness of the breath, this sometimes works too. Though recently I have just discovered that when I am filing or painting my nails, I find this very relaxing and I end up not only being right in the moment as I'm focused on each nail as I go and it totally distracts me. Maybe you could do a list like I did which was 10 things at home and ten things away from home that you could do if you feel bad or in crisis mode.
Sarah xx

Jamee said...

That makes me so mad! I am sorry that you had to deal with that! I understand the importance of the appointment but there is absolutely no reason to treat you like that! Is there a manager you could talk to? I would report that jerk.

Jill said...

Annie, I can so empathize with you. I've been feeling so tired of feeling like crap all the time. It is incredibly frustrating. That does not make you weak at all! That really just sucks about your doctors appointment. The fact that you have managed to stay reliable through all of this is impressive - I remember when I felt at my lowest I kind of just checked out of everything I needed to do. Hang in there and I hope you start to feel a little better!

Annie said...

Aww, thank you all for being so wonderful!

You really make a difference :)

Toni said...

Anyone can oversleep and miss an appointment. There's no excuse for making you feel so bad about it. Shame on that receptionist -- no on you! I hope you wake up Sunday feeling a stronger. Take care, Annie.

Lee Lee said...

hahaha oh yes! I am sooooo tired of being tired it's exhausting LOL

I got out of bed this morning and felt kinda good and I thought to myself 'don't waste this feething ling, do something fun'. I ate breaky and then decided to bake something yummy, but by the time I got the ingreients out I was soooo tired AGAIN that I just had to go back to bed!!! But ... there is always tomorrow :-)

Migrainista said...

I get really tired of the crap going on in my body and in my head too. Some days are just harder than others. I hope tomorrow is better for you!

Anonymous said...

I've been so tired lately, it sucks. I commented earlier that I can't tell whether it's my Seroquel, but now that I think about it, it's probably got something to do with waking up over and over during the night. This happens to me every so often. I'm pretty sure it's part of whatever the hell is wrong with me.

Ugh. It's really annoying, not getting enough sleep.


KD said...

Annie sorry to hear your psychologist's receptionist treated you like crap. Yes I get tired too. Hope you are doing better today.