I never had 'prior' goals to becoming ill. I have been ill since the day I was born. Some years have been better than others, and yes...I will admit that I started to set my sights on life higher during those times.
For most of my life I was an incredibly confused child when it came to dream professions or ways of life. As a result, I would basically mimic whoever I had decided was living a decent lifestyle at the time. Whenever I was at home, I would basically sit cross-legged with a book and daydream about nothing I can remember, as I felt I didn't have a talent in the world. Once I discovered people like Amanda (who writes at Pink Robots Need Love Too), I wanted to be athletic and super-social and disorganized! She inspired me, so I tried to live like her. I did the same thing to Leslie (who blogs at Silent All These Years) in the junior high years, joining Allied Youth to feel like part of something.
Around this time, I found out I had a photographic memory and that I could get EXCELLENT grades. That was my life for the next...7 years or so. I would sleep, eat, and dream education. Plus, it worked perfectly as someone with chronic illness (as both high school and university deal better with absences than work). I was miserable and uninspired the entire time, and I'm not sure I would do it again if I had the chance.
I lost my photographic memory (actually a fair amount of my memory) when I was 19 years old. This is when the illness severely took over my body, and I ended up having to move home to live with my parents. I finished university online due to their urging (and am thankful I did). I am still reasonably intelligent, just not the same.
Since those days, I've tried to get numerous jobs. I have never worked more than a 2-3 month stretch in my entire life. Those are the longest good stretches I've had. I've never held an adult job.
I am a late-bloomer at learning who I actually am. Bed-ridden chronic illness has actually helped this process more than one would ever think. I now know how much more I appreciate writing and art! I know how much I want to stand up for rare diseases and mental illness - as there is so much stigma placed against them!
If I ever get this illness under control - I think I'll be able to follow those dreams. But in a way, it definitely helped me get to where I needed to be.