(Image from WeHeartIt)
This is a touchy subject on my part. I am currently unemployed, as well as being completely unable to hold down a job as a result of my current state of health. I do not have disability support. I bring in absolutely NO income and manage to be a reasonable financial burden, carried by both my parents and my boyfriend/common-law. I have also never held a job longer than 3 months in my entire life.
As a result, I place a serious amount of guilt upon myself (even though I know I should be kind and forgiving!). I feel like I SHOULD be able to find something to bring in money, or at least try and stay healthy enough to work part-time hours. So it goes...mental battle ensues.
I set one goal for myself in the last six months and that was to get this blog in shape and attract 100 unique visitors a day. I wanted to treat it like a job, my one connection to the kind of lives so-called "normal" people live. I am happy to say that I have only missed posting one day on this blog in the last few months. In my opinion, that's a pretty good track record. I do this to remind myself that I actually am just sick and not somehow lazy without my knowledge.
I daydream every single day about the possibility of making money from my writing. It's something I can do at any time, and I surely seem to have something to say about every subject.
But when it comes right down to it...I cannot currently keep myself alive. I am dependent on others. I often worry that maybe it's because I'm not clever enough to come up with a brilliant 'make money at home' strategy. Or maybe I just don't have the energy. Who knows?
Either way, it's not a nice feeling.