I had been off for too many days. I could come back if I thought the illness was going to clean up quickly and tell them it would not happen on a regular basis. I would also have to fill out their papers and have doctor's notes done up by the end of the next day. I couldn't promise that and I have a hard time lying when it still could be weeks until I get a half-recovery. On top of that, I'm so broken that it hurts to move half an inch, let alone go somewhere to fill in health papers. I should work on my perpetual guilt complex.
I'm probably too blah to fully deal with it yet, but I'm sure the emotions will be a-coming. I got a referral for a new doctor but it will be 3 full months before I see him. It's hard to have no answers for that long.
Who am I kidding??? This is my 11th year of this bullshit.
I'm starting to come off as bitter. I'm going to brainstorm later possible jobs I might be able to manage (like writing! but no one ever pays me for that! woooo).
Until then I'm going to go suck on more Gatorade. I develop such a hatred for Gatorade when it's all I get to have in the run of a month.
Lots of love (I will be positive again soon!),