Sunday, January 31, 2010

Surprise! It's Your Mental Health Community!

Lately, I've been having some anxiety in regards to leaving the house.

I mean, this is to be expected...especially after being prone to puking and hating being stuck at places that are not my home while quite ill.

I was convinced to go out to a benefit tonight. All I heard about it was that it was an all woman thing put on by someone to raise money after a suicide, and that there was free wine. I should have put two and two together. Alas, I'm a bit on the slow side and the temptation for free wine was too strong.

So I get there and it is massive. There are hundreds of women milling about, some of which are social workers and nurses that I have met in the hospital before. It is a fundraiser for the Canadian Mental Health Association.

The speaker was a very inspiring girl named Laura and she was a schizophrenic. As she documented her loneliness, inability to trust her own brain, and experiences with medication and madness...I couldn't help but have flashbacks of my own. And they hurt. A LOT.

It doesn't help with the recent giving up of treatment by one of my doctors in favor of the belief of a somatization disorder. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I have so many diagnoses under my belt I have no idea what is the truth anymore. More referrals in the future, just like the last 11 years.

All I know is that I'm in pain and feel like staying in more often.

Also, my eyesight is incredibly blurry tonight.



Leslie said...

I love you.

Annie said...

Then you know I rule at awkward situations :P