Saturday, July 17, 2010

Finding My Way

I am back to being super sick.
I win at life.

I have nausea 24/7 that the Zofran and Cesamet are not keeping under control, crazy sleeping patterns, and massive pain caused by both stress, Fibromyalgia, TMJ, and Myofascial pain syndrome.  On top of that my emotions are completely out of whack and I spend half my time crying now (I'm thinking this may be a med adjustment issue...or I may be losing my mind...could really go either way here).

However, I have met some very special people online.  They actually make me look forward to waking up (which is more than I can say for anything else other than people in person...and even then sometimes haha).

I would like to stop hurting now please.
Can I get off the ride??

In as many ways as I absolutely HATE having these illnesses, I am grateful for what they have done for me.  Few people at my age are as serious about knowing what they want out of life (in my case, wanting to devote my time to spreading awareness, raising funding, living in the country, and being able to write and paint any time I want!).  

Even though my speech, actions, and general ways of existing get increasingly unclear, my view of what I want out of my time on this planet is turning crystal.

Funny how that works.

(By the way, the country is if I'm a little off with the timing of my posts, I apologize in advance <3)



Sonja said...

*hugs* Love you girl!

I agree, having chronic illnesses makes you grow up and mature so much faster.

upnorth said...

Sorry you're having such a rough go of it at the moment. That sucks...You are probably way mature for someone your age considering what you go through day to day. Hang in there.!!

Alison said...

Hi Annie!

I haven't been commenting on blogs much lately but I've still been reading. I'm sorry you're dealing with all that pain right now. I've had a lot of TMJ pain this week from getting my tooth pulled and that + the heat I've been totally wiped out. Hang in there, it has to let up soon, right? At least for a little while.

Toni said...

Sorry you feel so sick Annie. Know that all your friends are reading and wishing you the best. I hope these symptoms subside soon. You are becoming wise beyond your years, that's for sure.

Annie said...

I feel like I'm always writing depressing things for people to comment on haha.

I should work on coming up with topics that are cheerier :)

Alex said...

It's awful that you're feeling so sick and your emotions are messed up. I'm sort of like that too; I can go from angry or sad to happy in a matter of minutes, but I'm usually angry or just down. It sucks that you're dealing with a lot of pain, too. I empathise. (I might not have the same pain as you, but I am in a lot of pain!)

I was wondering, feel free not to answer if you don't feel like it: how do you get so many comments on your blog? I used to get a lot, and then they suddenly stopped a week or two ago. People still visit, a lot, but I don't get it! Do you have any tips for my blog, or layout, etc.? Yours looks great. =)

Take care, Alex. x