Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Life and Love is Hard (Wisdom-riffic!)

So last night my heart was broken a little more, as everyone who follows me on twitter is well aware of by now.

Being with a sick person is incredibly difficult.  I'm well aware.  It's hard to live with myself, let alone live with me.  I never know about making plans in advance (despite the fact that I will try to control my life endlessly), events are cut short due to feeling crummy, I cry more than my fair share, and sometimes people need to take care of me.

I can't make any promises that these illnesses are going away.  They are called chronic for a reason.  I could be running in a year, or I could be in a wheelchair.  I have NO IDEA.  No one does, when it comes to their lives.  But I have goals and dreams and ethics, and I want someone with me with goals and dreams and ethics that can align and overlap.

We love each other.

But no one loves illness.

So where does that leave me?
(Image from WeHeartIt)
.....................................................................................

Since the writing of this blog, he determined that I was worth the gamble.

(Thank God for Twitter and this blog, as the love and support is overwhelming!)

xoxo,
Annie

14 comments:

Toni said...

Annie. I don't use Twitter so I'm not sure what's going on, but I my heart is with you. I hope everything turns out okay.

chronicconnection said...

(((Annie))) You are not alone. Chronic illness most certainly does put a strain on relationships at time. I'm confident to say that each and everyone of us can attest to that, at some points in our lives.

I wasn't following twitter yesterday, so I don't know any background, but just the little I have gotten to know about you, I KNOW you are such a beautiful person inside and out & worthy of unconditional love and support.

Hang in there girl!

(((gentle hugs)))

Nancy

Mo said...

ANNIE, I am glad your Honey and you worked things out. Being sick and in love is a constant struggle. We want to be fun, and cute, and oh so clever! But we always can't be. Don't be so hard on yourself please.
mo

Mo said...

Oh, I don't do twitter either.

rlee8235 said...

I'm so glad everything worked out. Just from what I read about you, if he didn't think you were worth the gamble I'd think he was crazy.

Be happy....

BarbaraRyan said...

Been there, done that... So, I can totally relate. Relationships and chronic illnesses are like hurricanes. LOL.

I am happy that you found a good guy. I wish you both the best! You deserve it!!!

Diana Lee said...

It *is* hard, but we are so much more than our illnesses. You're worth it.

gracefulagony said...

It is easy for some people to get us confused with our illnesses... and we are so much more than that... Trust me I know the effects that chronic pain and illness can have on a relationship... but the right person doesn't see restrictions and limitations... the right one sees love - the potential to give it and receive it..
I am glad you and your honey worked things out.. if you ever need someone to talk to, please know that I am here for you.
Jolene

KimbellyBull said...

Hey honey,

I'm so glad he's realised that he's stupid to even think of throwing away the chance to be with one of the most amazing women I've spoken to. As said above, we're more than just an illness and you have so much to offer that no matter what happens in the future, you should not blame yourself. He's lucky to have you babe and the running him over with my wheelchair offer still stands if he needs a reminder of that... ;o)

Love and hugs honey,

Kimberley

Nessie said...

Annie,

I don't know you well, but just from reading your lovely blog, I feel like a do, a little. And the warmth, strength, humour, grace and so much more is evident even over a computer monitor. I'm so glad he realised you are worth it. Because you are worth it and you are truly amazing.

(((very gentle love and hugs)))

Assiya said...

I don't know what you said on twitter, but I'm sorry things are hard. Chronic pain is an unhappy addition to relationships. I hope things get better. Sending good wishes, and hugs if you want them.

Migrainista said...

Relationships are complicated to begin with. Toss in life altering chronic illness/pain - wow I don't know that anyone could ever prepare for such things. I'm glad you and your man are working things out. No matter what you deserve happiness.

Maya said...

Hi Annie,

I offer hugs and encouragement; it's wonderful you two are working things out. Others have mentioned how easy for people to forget that we are not our illnesses, even we ourselves.

There is a romanticism in the idea of illness; Colette on her couch amongst her chocolates and colored pencils; Camille's last breaths.

There is even some romanticism in the reality of illness. We find a little damsel in distress and knight errant in us all; which illness can highlight. But still...it's incredibly difficult for both parties, we get tired. May you always find your way back to each other.

Shelli said...

Take it from an old lady -- broken hearts are the badges of youth. They are necessary. They grow your capacity to love and to love deeply. When you're old like me, you cherish every one of them. And that is absolutely no help at all, I know.

I hope you are feeling surrounded by love and prayers, because you are.