Monday, July 26, 2010

Things That Bug Me Mondays

So, it's been a downer of a week - let's see if I can get some of it off of my chest!
  • My body hurts more than it ever has in my life. If it gets worse than this, my brain will check out!
  • Not being able to take care of myself :( - I'm trying to fight for my independence back, although sometimes I worry that it isn't a fair battle.
  • I have to sleep alone and I'm having a terrible go with staying down for more than a couple hours at a time.
  • My brain hurts when I think of the spreadsheets I am going to be churning out this week, but I'm excited to make plans for change all the same!
  • The endless dark thoughts. I don't like them, I don't want them around...I play tv, movies, and music...but sometimes they creep in all the same.
  • The fact that my boyfriend's mother is feeling so horrible and that I can't do anything to help!
  • I have to spend money...but it will be on getting a cell phone so I can stay in touch with people!
  • The fact that even though it hurts for me to lay in bed and type this --> I'm not writing any more negative things.  This change is going to be for the better.  No matter what.  

(Images from WeHeartIt)

Okay everyone, come rant along with a girl as she finds it painful to lay in bed!  Everyone needs a good dose of grump now and then! 

(your pukey, but beloved blog writer haha)


KimbellyBull said...

- I hate that I'm home alone and scared to death that there will be a fire and I can't get out.

- I hate that I'm so dependant on my hubby, I don't want to cause him stress and worry

- I hate that I cry at everything, constantly.

- I hate that I can't be there for the people I care about (like you babe! I wish I was there!)

- I hate that I'm so tired that even writing this has made my vision blurry, yet I've been awake less than an hour!

- I hate that my interweb friends are struggling and suffering

- I hate that I'm not positive anymore and that I'm slipping back into my old, dark, scary ways!

And I need to stop because I have a lot of things that I hate and I don't want to know about them because I'm depressed enough already.

So instead I shall commend you for your positivity, for the will to move forward and change your life. I'm proud of you babe, its not easy, especially when you're feeling so ill!

Huge loves & hugs sweetie, chin up!

Kimberley xxx

Brittney said...

My rant? Having a diagnosis but not a cause for the diagnosis and the treatment isn't really correcting the underlying problem. This goes for 3 out of 4 of my medical conditions.

That said. Here is a HUG. Hang in there!

phylor said...

I hate that I'm supposed to exercise to feel better/help with health issues, but exercising makes some of the painful areas more painful. "All pain and no gain."

I hate the days when you take one step forward, and three steps back.

I hate that I can only send virtual hugs to efriends who need real world ones.

I could go on, but I did want to send those in pain today (((((virtual hugs)))) and wish them as pain-free a day as possible: may there be more laughter than tears.

Dominique said...

I am sharing a snarky day with you Annie! I'm exhausted while trying to deal with the final wedding arrangements and payments while trying to figure out where I will live when I get back from my daughter's wedding, and how I am going to afford to replace all my belongings. I think overwhelmed comes to mind. And just really exhausted and wanting my own bed, my own home and my own space. Nov 1st cant' come too quick for me.

I hope you are feeling better soon my sweet friend!

steph said...

My boyfriend went to a shrink that he'd waited six months to see (not because the doc was awesome, but because healthcare for low-income peeps like ourselves is crap) and she basically blew off his totally legit mental health concerns and told him to "try harder".

So that first picture you've got up there nearly made me start crying all over again from the injustice. He needs help. He asked for help. He was essentially flipped the bird.

We filed a complaint, but he has to wait another six months to get in with someone new.

And THAT is what's pissing me off today.

Thanks for the vent!

Sue Jackson said...

Oh, Annie, I'm so sorry you're still suffering so much and in such a bad crash. I wish I could help somehow.

All I can tell you is that this will pass. That helps me get through the bad times - to know that CFS is full of ups and downs and that eventually, better times will come.

Hang in there and know you are not alone.


Bippidee said...

That Shakespeare quote is from The Tempest - Ariel says it in 1.2. Sorry, slight Tempest obsession at the moment due to production this week!

Reformed Anon. Girl in Pain said...

I love the middle picture, I'm having a bad pain day and feel like life will never be the same again, it really struck me. not gonna lie, it made me cry.

Ok things I don't like: (not a big fan of the word hate)

- idiot docs that don't listen

- stoopid pain meds that don't work

- pain, pain, pain

- pain making me tempted to selfharm (I won't! don't worry)

- having to spend all my money to live, while I know I'm lining the pockets of pharmaceutical C.E.O.s

- that even doing my hobby hurts me