MY WAYS TO FAIL AT DETOXING
- Spend your time going to the beach while in withdrawal. I was wrapped in a wool blanket on the beach freezing to death because of a fever, and full of tremors. Painful and not fun. Do not recommend.
- Go down slightly on one medication and get so depressed that you completely depersonalize yourself from your body - subsequently, decide offing yourself is the best answer, but get guilt-tripped into avoiding it.
- Go down slightly on another medication and feel a burning sensation all along your spine as well as aches and pains all over.
- Become intolerable to family members to the point where they forcibly shove the meds back in your mouth again and you don't have the energy to care.
- Have your poor mom have a mini-stroke in front of you while being at home attempting to avoid stress! (THANK GOD SHE'S OK).
- Proceed to wonder if you even have the possibility to get off drugs or if you are permanently chained to them.
- Take note of the fact that in order to live, at least one of the drugs is going to keep getting higher. Decide that you might as well just go with it, and get back on higher dosing as the lower is failing even worse (although it is hard to tell if the body would ever adapt...).
- Feel like you once again failed yourself (although I was told to look at it as an experiment and that helped!).
- Instead, decide to make plans that you can post on your walls so that you can know how to take care of yourself every day.
- Continue putting it off because you are too sick to come up with decent ideas...
So that is where I am currently. What do you think? I wish I could make a decision either way, but I feel like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't.
Have any advice? Any ways to fail to add to the list? Stories? Do tell!