As a result, I figured that I might as well try to justify my position on an issue that some of my readers don't know about. Currently, I am in the process of trying to reduce and then fully detox from most, preferably all (but unlikely), medications that I am taking.
For 9 days straight while on all of these medications, I bawled my eyes out 24/7. They obviously were not working in any way, shape, or form. I'm not on first line medication treatment for any of my diagnosed illnesses. Why no doctor supervision? Well a) they are all conveniently on vacation and b) none of them have ever dared to want to follow me through the course of changing.
I moved home to live with my parents, at least for the next couple of weeks. Not exactly what a girl at 23 plans, but I am too sick to function, and my mother is a brilliant caregiver (and pharmacist!).
These first 2.5 days with lessened medication in my body have been hell. I've had a fever that shook me to the core, tremors, nausea, vomiting, panic attacks, collapsing, and excruciating pain. I have tried to detox like this many times, and have always quit by the third day. This time I am determined.
I don't necessarily believe I could live a life without drugs, although I think it is a brilliant idea in concept. I just need to be on the right drugs. And in order to do that, I need to come off of the wrong ones.
- No matter how much it hurts
- No matter how much I cry
- No matter how hard of a process it is
This is happening. The course I am on right now = death. I don't want that to happen, and I'm willing to fight however hard I need to fight.